geckoguy
01-29-2005, 02:37 AM
A Platoon Sergeant and his Platoon Leader are bunking down in the field for
the night. The Platoon Sergeant looks up and says, "When you see all the
stars in the sky, what do you think, sir?"
The LT replies, "Well, I think of how insignificant we really are in the
universe; how small a piece of such a grand design. I can't help but wonder
if what we do truly means anything or makes any difference. Why? What do
you think of, Sergeant?"
"I think... I think somebody stole the tent again.
Officer: "Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?"
Soldier: "Sure, buddy."
Officer: "That's no way to address an officer!
Now let's try it again!"
Officer: "Soldier. Do you have change for a dollar?"
Soldier: "No, SIR!"
On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field
and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle.
One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?"
The tower responded, "Who is calling?"
The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?"
The tower replied "It makes a lot of difference.
If it is an American Airlines flight, it is 3 o'clock.
If it is an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours.
If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells.
If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand
is on the 3.
If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Thursday afternoon and 120
minutes to "Happy Hour."
Having just moved into his new office, a pompous, new colonel was
sitting at his desk when an airman knocked on the door.
Conscious of his new position, the colonel quickly picked up the phone,
told the airman to enter, then said into the phone,
"Yes, General, I'll be seeing him this afternoon and I'll pass along your message.
In the meantime, thank you for your good wishes, sir."
Feeling as though he had sufficiently impressed the young enlisted man,
he asked, "What do you want?"
"Nothing important, sir," the airman replied, "I'm just here to hook up your telephone."
An air force officer goes to heaven and at the gate St Peter asks him if he has ever done anything in his life that he believes makes him worthy of admittance to heaven. The officer flyboy replies; yes, I once went into a bar with four of my pilot friends and saw two Seabees harassing a young girl at the bar, so being a gentleman I went up to the biggest one and told him to leave this young lady alone. When he refused I told him again more forcefully. This time I slapped him across the face and told this Seabee to stand down. St Peter said this was a very good thing to do and asked when the pilot did this great act. The pilot replied; about 5 minutes ago! My friends should be here shortly!
There's more at http://www.military-quotes.com/military-jokes-humor.htm
the night. The Platoon Sergeant looks up and says, "When you see all the
stars in the sky, what do you think, sir?"
The LT replies, "Well, I think of how insignificant we really are in the
universe; how small a piece of such a grand design. I can't help but wonder
if what we do truly means anything or makes any difference. Why? What do
you think of, Sergeant?"
"I think... I think somebody stole the tent again.
Officer: "Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?"
Soldier: "Sure, buddy."
Officer: "That's no way to address an officer!
Now let's try it again!"
Officer: "Soldier. Do you have change for a dollar?"
Soldier: "No, SIR!"
On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field
and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle.
One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?"
The tower responded, "Who is calling?"
The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?"
The tower replied "It makes a lot of difference.
If it is an American Airlines flight, it is 3 o'clock.
If it is an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours.
If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells.
If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand
is on the 3.
If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Thursday afternoon and 120
minutes to "Happy Hour."
Having just moved into his new office, a pompous, new colonel was
sitting at his desk when an airman knocked on the door.
Conscious of his new position, the colonel quickly picked up the phone,
told the airman to enter, then said into the phone,
"Yes, General, I'll be seeing him this afternoon and I'll pass along your message.
In the meantime, thank you for your good wishes, sir."
Feeling as though he had sufficiently impressed the young enlisted man,
he asked, "What do you want?"
"Nothing important, sir," the airman replied, "I'm just here to hook up your telephone."
An air force officer goes to heaven and at the gate St Peter asks him if he has ever done anything in his life that he believes makes him worthy of admittance to heaven. The officer flyboy replies; yes, I once went into a bar with four of my pilot friends and saw two Seabees harassing a young girl at the bar, so being a gentleman I went up to the biggest one and told him to leave this young lady alone. When he refused I told him again more forcefully. This time I slapped him across the face and told this Seabee to stand down. St Peter said this was a very good thing to do and asked when the pilot did this great act. The pilot replied; about 5 minutes ago! My friends should be here shortly!
There's more at http://www.military-quotes.com/military-jokes-humor.htm