faider jokes

[paulbiggs]

WHAT DO RAIDER FANS CALL A PIMPLE ON THEIR BUTT?




ANSWER!


A BRAIN TUMOR!

[daboltz]

what do you call a car full of raider fans driving over a cliff?










a good start!!!!

[TrabucoWR]

What do you call a faider fan with a 6th grade education?












A genius!

[mgpretzel]

Originally posted by: TrabucoWR
What do you call a faider fan with a 6th grade education?












A genius!

That should really be a 2nd grade education!! LOL!!

[guimcharger]

All of these jokes are pretty funny. Wish I had one of my own.

[TrabucoWR]

Originally posted by: guimcharger
All of these jokes are pretty funny. Wish I had one of my own.

OK I got one for you.

What do you call raider fan on the moon? - a problem

What do you call 20 raider fans on the moon?- a problem

What do you call every raider fan on the moon?










Problem solved!

[IgorUnchained]

I havent heard this joke in a while so bear with me....

There are 3 guys.....a Chargers fan, a Patriots fan, and a Raiders fan- and they were all special forces/CIA types who were looking to make it into the uppermost posts in the agency.
The heads of the agency, dressed in suits and unsmiling, lead them down a dark hall to a hallway with 2 doors.....they all went into the first door. When they got in there they were told that their wives would be tied to a chair in the second room, and in a minute they would go in to the room one at a time and kill their wives one by one. Each one was given a gun and the first man, the Charger fan, was told to start off. The man put on his game face and went out the first door, but turned around before he went into the second door...he told the agency that he just couldnt do it. He was told to leave and the gun was given to the second fan.....the Patriots fan.

The Pats fan took the gun and with steel in his eyes, he walked through the first and then the second door...after a few moments of silence he came back in to the room and told the agents that after seeing his wife there tied up on the chair, she looked so helpless and he couldnt do it....the man was asked to leave.

Now it was just the Raiders fan and the agents. They gave him a nod and with that the Raiders fan went through the first and second door....the agents listened for the cue that the deed was being done. From the second room came a loud BANG_BANG_BANG_BANG_BANG_BANG....six shots rang out and a pause.......then all of a sudden came smashing sounds and snarling, and wood splintering and a blood curdling scream.....

The Raiders fan came back in the room sweating and covered in blood....he said "You should have told me there were just blanks in the gun....I had to beat her to death with the chair!"



I hope that was worth all the reading!

[SDRaiderH8er]

Originally posted by: daboltz
what do you call a car full of raider fans driving over a cliff?










a good start!!!!I hope there wasnt an empty seat, I wouldnt want to waste a seat

[TrabucoWR]

What do you call a bunch of raider fans running down the street?









Jailbreak!

[broncossuck7]

two raider fans are in a car flat out drunk.
Who's driving?

THE COPS

[malamute]

How about the Raider who went to training camp a tight end and came out a wide receiver.

[wilrab]

There was a 2nd grade teacher who was a Raiders fan. One day she was telling her class that she was a Raiders fan and wanted the kids to put their hands up if they were Raiders fans as well. All of the class put their hands up even though they did not know what she was talking about to win her approval except for Suzy.

The teacher saw that Suzy's hand was not up and asked her why not. Little Suzy replied "I am a Charger Fan!" The teacher, obviously annoyed by little Suzy's answer sneered "Why are you a Chargers Fan?"

Little Suzy said, "My mommy is a Chargers fan and my daddy is a Chargers fan, so I am a Chargers fan."

Now the teacher is really mad, "So, if your mother is a dumbass and your father is an idiot, what would that make you?"

Little Suzy thought about it for a minute and replied "I guess that would make me a Raider fan!"

[TrabucoWR]

What's the difference between a bucket of dog crap and a raider fan?












The bucket!

[TrabucoWR]

Whats the difference between an intelligent faider fan and Bigfoot?











Bigfoot's been spotted!

[kingporterblood]

One time a faider fan locked himself in the bathroom and got so scared that he peed on hisself

[Alexru]

yep

[hegor]

Why doesn't Osama Bin Ladin plan any attacks on Oakland?

He wouldn't want to do us any favors!


Besides football, what other activities are Raider fans always on time for?

Court appearances and Parole hearings.


Two Raider fans wanted to get some malt liquor for the big game on Sunday. They only have ten dollars between them. How much Olde English 800 can they get if its $1.25 a bottle.

As much as they can steal.


Two police officiers were arresting some rowdy drunken Raider fans, when one looked over to the other and said "gee, these guys are out of control, did the Raiders win or lose"?

The other officer replied "Its the Raiders bye week".

[hegor]

Ok a few more.


Why don't most Raider games sell out?

Can't go to the game if your in jail!




Why do the Oakland Police love the Raiders and Raider fans?

Job security baby!

[TrabucoWR]

Someone had this for a sig a while back, but here it is anyway.

God walks into a room and sees Osama, Saddam, and Al Davis sitting at a table. There is a gun on the table but only has 2 bullets. Who does God shoot?













Al Davis........ twice

[TrabucoWR]

Whats the difference between a dead dog in the middle of the road and a dead faider fan in the middle of the road?











The dead dog has skid marks leading up to it!

[lightningstrike]

If you were stuck in a cage with a lion,jaguar and a raider fan and you had a gun with two bullets what should you do?


Shoot the raider fan twice.







:Helmet: GO CHARGERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[GoTomlinson]

The other day Al Davis visited the Chargers' training camp. He approached AJ Smith and said, "Gee AJ, you were able to turn your team around in just one season. Could I ask you how you did it?" AJreplied to him that you just need to have smart players. He called Philip Rivers over and asked him, "Hey Phil, who is your Father's Brother's Nephew?" "Me" Rivers responded.

Al returns to camp in Oakland and asks JaMarcus Russel the same question, "Who is your Father's Brother's Nephew?" Russel said he would need some time to think about it. The owner told him that he needed to have an answer by the end of practice. JaMarcus runs over to Donovan Darius and asks, "Who is your Father's Brother's Nephew." "Thats easy, it's me," Darius replied.

Practice finally ends and sure enough Al Davis is waiting for Jamarcus Russell. Al asks JaMarcus one final time, "Who is your Father's Brother's Nephew?" Jamarcus answers, "Darius." Norv looks at Jamarcus with rage and says, "No you idiot! It's Philip Rivers!"

[chargertom]

What do you call a Raiders fan with half a brain? Gifted.

Do you know what “Raiders” actually stands for? Raider Al’s Idiots Doing Excruciating Rap Songs.

There’s a rumor that Al Davis has lined up a new corporate sponsor for the Raiders – Tampax. He though it was appropriate since the team is going through a very bad period.

How do you save a Raider fan from drowning? Mop up the vomit.

What do you call a sheep tied to a light-post in Oakland? A recreation center.

What do you call a Raiders fan with lots of girlfriends? A Shepherd.

What do you call a Raiders fan with five sheep? A pimp.

What’s the difference between a Raiders fan and a Chimp? Ones hairy, stupid and smells, and the other is a Chimpanzee.

How do you knock out a Raiders fan when he’s been drinking? Slam the toilet seat on his head.

How can you tell a level-headed Raiders fan? He dribbles from both sides of his mouth – at the same time.

Why do Sumo Wrestlers shave their legs? So they aren’t mistaken for Oakland women.

What are silver and black, silver and black, and silver and black? A drunken Raider fan rolling down the bleachers.

What do Raiders fans and laxatives have in common? Both irritate the absolute crap out of you.

Two Chargers fans were walking through a cemetery when they happened upon a tombstone that read: “Here lies Jose’ Sanchez, a good man and a Raiders fan.” So, one of the Chargers fans ask the other: “When the hell did they start putting two people in one grave?”

What do you call a Raiders fan in a suit? The accused.

“How did you enjoy your holiday in Israel?” “It was great!” “Did you visit the Wailing Wall?” “Yes, but I couldn’t get anywhere near it for the Raiders fans.”

The Seven Dwarfs are working down in the mines when there is a cave-in. Snow White runs to the entrance to the mine and yells down to them. In the distance a voice shouts out of the mine shaft, “The Raiders will win the Super Bowl.” Snow White says, “Well at least Dopey’s alive.”

What do you call a Raiders fan that does well on an IQ test? A cheat.

What do you say to a Raiders fan with a job? "I’ll have a Big Mac, fries and a coke, please."

What is the difference between Bill Clinton and Jerry Rice? Clinton can still score.

A little boy took his parents to court because he did not want to live with them anymore. The honored Judge said to him, “So why don’t you want to live with your Dad?” “Because he beats me,” said the little boy. “Why don’t you want to live with your Mother then?” asked the Judge. “Because she beats me as well.” “Oh,” said the Judge “Well who would you like to live with then?” The little boy replied, “I would like to live with the Oakland Raiders because they don’t beat anyone.”

Four Surgeons are taking a coffee break. The first Surgeon says, “Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.” The second Surgeon says, “Nope, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order.” The third Surgeon says, “Well you should try electricians. Everything inside them in color coded.” The fourth Surgeon says, “I prefer Raiders fans. They’re heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and asses are interchangeable.”

The Raiders Coach, Bill Callahan, was wheeling his shopping cart across the supermarket parking lot when he noticed an old lady struggling with her shopping cart full of groceries. He stopped and asked, “Can you manage dear?” to which the old lady replied, “NO WAY – you got yourself into this mess, don’t ask be to sort it out!”

A 8th grade Raider fan was called into the principals' office for missing school for a week. The principal angrily asked him, "So what's your excuse?" The 8th grader sheepishly handed the principal a Jury Summons. (Think about it!!!)

Al Davis walks into Sears and barks out at the salesman, "Hey....stupid. Sell me that there TV and make it snappy." The salesman looks at Al and says, "Sorry, no can do." Al glares at the salesman and asks, "Why the hell not?" The salesman coolly replies, "Because 'that there TV' is a microwave----stupid!"

Recently MENSA give IQ tests to the Raiders. They scored 155...combined! If they had scored any lower individually, they'd have to be watered.

Al Davis was furious. He slammed down the recently purchased chainsaw and yelled at the salesman, "HEY! This damned thing is USELESS! It don't work and I want my money back!" The salesman replied, "Now just wait a minute. Let's have a look." He pulled the starter rope and the chainsaw started. Al Davis looked at the salesman befuddled and asked, "What's that noise?"

Al Davis had a flat and no jack. A good Samaritan stopped and offered assistance by picking up Al's car by the bumper and held it while Al changed the tire. This done, the Samaritan set the car down. Al said, "Hell, you're really strong. I'm going out on a limb here, but how'd you like to play football for the best team in the NFL?" The Samaritan looked at Al a bit puzzled and finally replied, "That would be great! So who do you know that works for the Chargers?"

Ever notice that some of the Raiders' fans look like Drag Queens on Steroids? What an insult to Drag Queens.

The Raiders played a benefit game against the Men's Choir in San Francisco. In the 4th Quarter the score was Raiders 3 - Men's Choir 35. At the 2-minute warning, the Men's Choir thought it was the end of the game and left .... The Raiders scored 1:58 later .... but missed the extra point.


Raider Hater -

1. Generally speaking a football fan with enough knowledge to cheer for any team lining up again the scum known as the Raiders. i.e., Bob, being smart, decided to bring mace to fend off the crack-headed Raider fans who dress up like 12 year olds at a Star Wars reunion.

2. All Raider supporters the day after being humiliated in the Super Bowl. i.e., "Sooner or later ... we are all Raider Haters", said Rich Gannon to Tim Brown.

3. A loyal football fan from any NFL team in the Nation who resents the hell out of paying good money to see their team play and then being surrounded by Jokeland Raiders fanatics in their Halloween costumes and Mommie's make-up who are too high and drunk to even know there is a game going on. i.e., Raider Hater Police Officer -- "You have the right to remain silent....."

Raider Fan (Raida Fan) -

1. A homeless person who steals tickets to attend a Raider game. i.e., Lewis, after drinking his 400 dollar rent away, decided to rob four San Diego State Students so he could attend the Chargers/Raiders game and torment small children.


2. An A-hole who dresses up for football games. i.e., Raida Fans Jose' and Manuel put makeup on from Mom's purse to go to the Raiders game and urinate on other fans.


3. The majority of NFL football fans serving time in prisons. i.e., Bill was beaten half to death by Raida fan while cheering on the Bucs while serving time for a DWI.


4. A reason to riot regardless of the outcome of a football game. i.e., Raida fan was not to be denied an opportunity to burn a McDonalds regardless of the outcome of the Super Bowl.


5. A fan of the Oakland Raidas who spends more time and effort on his costume than with his family. Also, crack smoking violent moron. i.e., Little Joey hid under the bed because Daddy had burnt his last rock and would soon turn into Raidafan!


Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days.
On the seventh day, Michael, the Archangel found him resting. He inquired of God, "Where have you been?"
God signed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look Michael, see what I've made..."
Archangel Michael look puzzled and said, "What is it?"
"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."
"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing to different places on Earth, "For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while Southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people, " God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."
The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a place. "What's that?"
"Ah," said God. "That's San Diego, California, the most glorious place on Earth. There's an exquisite shoreline along the Pacific Ocean, beautiful hills and valleys with mountains in the distance, palm trees, and glorious weather. It will be called 'America's finest city.' The people from San Diego are going to be modest, intelligent, humorous and healthy and they're going to be found traveling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace. I'm also going to give them a wonderful football team with a running back called 'L.T.' who will be admired and feared by all who come across him."
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What about balance, God? You said there would be BALANCE!"
God replied, "Wait until you see the loud-mouth hoodlum idiots I'm putting in Oakland, California!"

Go Chargers!! :Bolt:

[TrabucoWR]

Tom I don't even want to know how long it took you to type all that in.

[BoltPride619]

The other day Norv Turner visited the Chargers' training camp. He approached Marty and said, "Gee Marty, you were able to turn your team around in just one season. Could I ask you how you did it?" Marty replied to him that you just need to have smart players. He called Drew Brees over and asked him, "Hey Drew, who is your Father's Brother's Nephew?" "Me" Drew Brees responded.

Norv Turner returns to camp in Oakland and asks Randy Moss the same question, "Who is your Father's Brother's Nephew?" Randy Moss said he would need some time to think about it. The coach told him that he needed to have an answer by the end of practice. Randy Moss runs over to Kerry Collins and asks, "Who is your Father's Brother's Nephew." "Thats easy, it's me," Kerry Collins replied.

Practice finally ends and sure enough Norv Turner is waiting for Randy Moss. Norv asks Randy one final time, "Who is your Father's Brother's Nephew?" Randy answers, "Kerry Collins." Norv looks at Randy with rage and says, "No you idiot! It's Drew Brees!"


very funny joke.

[TrabucoWR]

What is long, smells like crap, and is full of faider fans?











The welfare line!

[TrabucoWR]

How do you stop a raider fan from drowning?












Take your foot off his head.

[LTfan4life]

Roflmao!!!!!!!!

[TD4LT]

dont know if this has been used before but
heres the funniest joke of all time



























The Oakland Raiders :D

[broncossuck7]

HAHA that brought a tear to my eye. what a classic!

[TrabucoWR]

dont know if this has been used before but
heres the funniest joke of all time


























The Oakland Raiders :D
Classic Sam, classic

[TrabucoWR]

What do you do when you run over a raider fan?












Shift into reverse;)

[TrabucoWR]

What is an absolute shame?














A bus full of raider fans goes off a cliff and there's 3 empty seats

[broncossuck7]

another classic!

[mattmc223]

A Chargers fan used to amuse himself by scaring every Oakland Raider fan he would see strutting down the side of the road in their obnoxious silver and black colors.

He would swerve his van as if to hit them and then he would swerve back on the road.

One day, as the van driver was driving along he saw a priest hitchhiking. He thought he would do a good deed so he turned around and pulled over. He asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?"

"I'm going to say Mass at St. Joseph's Church, about five miles down the road!", replied the priest.


"No problem, Father! I'll give you a lift. Climb in!"


The happy priest climbed into the passenger seat and the van continued down the road. Suddenly the driver saw a Raider fan walking down the road and instinctively he swerved as if to hit him, but just in time he swerved back to the road, narrowly missing the idiot.


Even though he was certain he missed the guy, he still heard a loud "THUD."


Not understanding where the noise came from he glanced in his mirrors and he didn't see anything.


Then he remembered the priest and he turned to the priest and said, "I'm sorry, Father. I almost hit that Oakland Raider fan."


"That's okay," replied the priest. "I got the ******* with the door!"

[mattmc223]

What's the Difference?
What is the difference between a dead Raiders fan lying in the road and a dead Chargers fan lying in the road?














There are skid marks in front of the Chargers fan.

[TD4LT]

What's the Difference?
What is the difference between a dead Raiders fan lying in the road and a dead Chargers fan lying in the road?














There are skid marks in front of the 49ers fan.
*** that is the worst joke ever

[mattmc223]

Forgot to read my own post, and yes I did steal it from another website.

[TD4LT]

someone already posted a joke exactly like that

[mattmc223]

My bad, not only am I stupid, I repost. Stupid, Stupid, Stupid.

[TrabucoWR]

someone already posted a joke exactly like that
I already posted it, it goes like this.

What's the difference between a dead dog in the middle of the road and a dead raider fan in the middle of the road?



Dead dog has skid marks leading up to it.

[Bolt Man]

Where is the best place to hide a Raider Fans game tickets??

Under his work boots

Did you hear Sebastian Janikowski tried to commit suicide?

He couldn't kick the chair out from underneath himself!!!

Keep em coming guys you all have posted some great jokes. :Bolt: :Helmet: :21:

[TrabucoWR]

What are the toughest 3 years of a raider fan's life?













1st grade;)

[CrazyCharger]

Why does jerry porter not got to sleep---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------He has nightmares of Randall Godfrey hitting him again

[BoltdeSD]

How does the Oakland Coliseum orchestrate a safe and orderly stadium exit after a faider's home game?

3 blasts on the air horn announcing a general population lockdown.

[lightningstrike]

:Bolt: HA!!!!!! All of these jokes are really funny.



:Helmet: GOOOOOOOOO CHARGERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[boltbacker_ed]

What do you call a faider with no arms and no legs on the field?


crap!

What do you call a faider with no arms and legs floating?


crap that floats!


What do you call al davis?

The leader of the crap!

[cboy619]

What do you call 5 Raider fans in an old Buick going over a cliff?






A waste you could have fit 6.

[TrabucoWR]

Did you hear LT is having a condo built in Oakland? It happens to be in the endzone of the Oakland Collesium, since he spends more time there than any of the Raiders do.

[Chargerville]

Why isn't there an NFL team in Los Angeles?
Because if Los Angeles gets one, Oakland will want one too.

How do you starve a Raider fan?
Hide the food stamps under the soap.

[Chargers5956]

Preseason Position Battle

Rivers vs. Tomlinson

HAHAHA

[TrabucoWR]

Preseason Position Battle

Rivers vs. Tomlinson

HAHAHA
I'm not seeing what that has to do with the raiders

[SDIANSD]

I'm not seeing what that has to do with the raiders

lol lmao dat was funny

[apollo11]

how many cops with heavy flashlights and nightsticks does it take to arrest a non resisting faider fan?









The more the better.:p

[apollo11]

What do faider fans do when their suck team scores a touchdown?










Break open a calculator to figure out how many points their still behind.:p

[wilrab]

What do the Raiders and marijuana have in common?










They both get smoked in bowls!!!

[Chargerville]

What do the Raiders and marijuana have in common?










They both get smoked in bowls!!!Nice one! http://smilies.vidahost.com/contrib/blackeye/lol.gif

[TrabucoWR]

I have to admit, some of these jokes are quite funny.
Lol, nice to see your a good sport about it :Beer:

[georgehimself]

I havent heard this joke in a while so bear with me....

There are 3 guys.....a Chargers fan, a Patriots fan, and a Raiders fan- and they were all special forces/CIA types who were looking to make it into the uppermost posts in the agency.
The heads of the agency, dressed in suits and unsmiling, lead them down a dark hall to a hallway with 2 doors.....they all went into the first door. When they got in there they were told that their wives would be tied to a chair in the second room, and in a minute they would go in to the room one at a time and kill their wives one by one. Each one was given a gun and the first man, the Charger fan, was told to start off. The man put on his game face and went out the first door, but turned around before he went into the second door...he told the agency that he just couldnt do it. He was told to leave and the gun was given to the second fan.....the Patriots fan.

The Pats fan took the gun and with steel in his eyes, he walked through the first and then the second door...after a few moments of silence he came back in to the room and told the agents that after seeing his wife there tied up on the chair, she looked so helpless and he couldnt do it....the man was asked to leave.

Now it was just the Raiders fan and the agents. They gave him a nod and with that the Raiders fan went through the first and second door....the agents listened for the cue that the deed was being done. From the second room came a loud BANG_BANG_BANG_BANG_BANG_BANG....six shots rang out and a pause.......then all of a sudden came smashing sounds and snarling, and wood splintering and a blood curdling scream.....

The Raiders fan came back in the room sweating and covered in blood....he said "You should have told me there were just blanks in the gun....I had to beat her to death with the chair!"



I hope that was worth all the reading!
That was a good one! hahha

[SP17BOLT]

A little boy asked his dad, and mom. Mom and dad why is the homeless doing on the streets begging for money and why his there. The parents responded and said thats what you get for being a raider fan.

What do you call a raider fan that has money: a thief

What do you call a raider fan that has a girlfriend: a rapist

What do you call a raider fan that has a dog: ***** the raider fan would respond and say who you calling me or the dog.

Why do raider fans always bring back the 3 super bowls to the present. Because thats all they know what to do when it comes to raiders

This joke may include some racism but im not racist.

Whats a better place to live at oakland or Tijuana: Tijuana

when i go to TJ im at the border waiting to come back to the USA, their is a man selling blankets of the raiders, you gross the border and you go to San Diego not oakland, but the man said i come from oakland and here is were i work everyday, And then he said hey im a raider fan what do you expect from me. hahahaha.

[SP17BOLT]

opps i forgot we can't say bad words on here,sorry oh yeah the stars it means female dog the other way so just read it like it should be like

[sharkman]

A boy goes to school wearing a CHARGERS jersey and his teacher ask
why are you a CHARGERS fan the little boy replys
my mom's a CHARGERS fan
my dad's a CHARGERS fan
So I'm a CHARGERS fan
The teacher says you know there are 32 other teams you don't have to like what our parents like
What if your mom was a hooker and your dad was a dope dealer?
The boy replys "THEN I WOULD BE A RAIDER FAN"

[OKCBOLTSFAN]

I posted this one under the jokes thread, but it needs to be here, so here goes.

A charger fan walks into a bar with a limp, sits at the bar and orders a beer. He looks to the end of the bar and sees Jesus. He asks the bartender "is the really Jesus, the son of God?" The bartender sys yes, so the Charger fan buys him a beer. Jesus raises his glass in Aknowledgement.

A few minutes later, a Faider fan walks in wearing a neck brace and orders a beer. He also sees Jesus at the end of the bar and buys Him a beer as well.

After finishing his beers, Jesus gets up to leave and walks to the Charger fan. He says "my son, thank you for your kindness. In return, I will heal your leg." Jesus lays hands on the Charger fan and his leg is instantly healed.

He turns to the Faider fan and says "my son, thank you as well for your generosity. In return I will heal you as well."

Before Jesus could lay hands on the Faider fan, he says "Wait a minute pal, I'm on disability!"

[OKCBOLTSFAN]

Where do Faider fans hold their get togethers?



Cellblock D

[Draako]

3 Football fans were working on a high rise, a Charger fan, a Donko fan and a Faider fan.

At lunch time the Charger fan opened his his lunch box and found a PB&J, "I hate PB&J", the charger fan said, and swore if he got it again the next day he'd jump off of the building.

The Donko Fan opened his lunch and found a Ham and Cheese, "God I hate Ham and Cheese, and I get it every day, If i get it tommorow I'll jump!"

The Faider fan opend his lunch and found a baloney sandwich. God I hate this Baloney so much If i get it again tommorow I'll Jump!"

Well the next day the Charger fan opend his lunch and found PB&J. and jumped to his death. The Donko fan found he had ham and cheese, and jumped to his death, and the Faider Fan found Baloney and jumped to his death.

Later that day the news was interviewing their wives. The charger fan's wife was crying and said if I had only listened to him when he told me he hated PB&J, the Donko fan's wife said I should have listened and made him something different too.

The Faider wife said what are you looking at me for, that dummy packs his own lunch!

[LIGHTS OUT]

It's the first day of school and the teacher thought she'd get to know the kids by asking them their name and what their father does for a living.

The first little girl says: "My name is Mary and my Daddy is a postman."

The next little boy says: "I'm Andy and my Dad is a mechanic."

Then one little boy says: "My name is Johnny and my Father is a striptease dancer in a cabaret for gay men."

The teacher gasps and quickly changes the subject, but later in the school yard the teacher approaches Johnny privately and asks if it was really true that his Dad dances nude in a gay bar.

He blushed and said, "No, I'm sorry I said that. My Dad plays football for the Raiders and I was just too embarrassed to say so."

[Draako]

It's the first day of school and the teacher thought she'd get to know the kids by asking them their name and what their father does for a living.

The first little girl says: "My name is Mary and my Daddy is a postman."

The next little boy says: "I'm Andy and my Dad is a mechanic."

Then one little boy says: "My name is Johnny and my Father is a striptease dancer in a cabaret for gay men."

The teacher gasps and quickly changes the subject, but later in the school yard the teacher approaches Johnny privately and asks if it was really true that his Dad dances nude in a gay bar.

He blushed and said, "No, I'm sorry I said that. My Dad plays football for the Raiders and I was just too embarrassed to say so."

3rd time this has been posted in this thread at least

[aldo2624]

haha theres some good ones

[Waylon138]

A boy goes to school wearing a CHARGERS jersey and his teacher ask
why are you a CHARGERS fan the little boy replys
my mom's a CHARGERS fan
my dad's a CHARGERS fan
So I'm a CHARGERS fan
The teacher says you know there are 32 other teams you don't have to like what our parents like
What if your mom was a hooker and your dad was a dope dealer?
The boy replys "THEN I WOULD BE A RAIDER FAN"


This joke is one of the best ones I have heard in a long time.

[Ijonus]

An old political joke - remade, to better suit this thread :>

A teacher in school asks the kids for their parents occupation and such.
"Johnny, who is your mother?"
"An accountant."
"And your father?"
"A policeman."
"And whom would you like to be in the future?"
"A firefighter."
Then she asks another boy:
"And you Al, who's your mother?"
"A Raiders fan."
"And your dad?"
"A Raiders fan."
"I see... And whom would you like to be?"
"An orphan."

[sprydle]

What's the difference between a hockey team and a stadium full of Raiders fans?


The hockey team has more teeth.

[r3con]

If you were stuck in a cage with a lion,jaguar and a raider fan and you had a gun with two bullets what should you do?

Shoot the raider fan twice.

Id shoot the fan twice in each knee cap and let the cats finish him off...

[Bobmarleysd]

Okay I found this on the faiders site and found it funny.

BREAKING NEWS: Terror Alert in Oakland:


OAKLAND , (CA)--Oakland Raiders football practice was delayed nearly two hours today after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery substance on the practice field. Head coach Art Shell immediately suspended practice and called the police and federal investigators. After a complete analysis, FBI forensic experts determined that the white substance unknown to players was the GOAL LINE. Practice resumed after special agents decided the team was unlikely to encounter the substance again.

[Gabe]

How do Raider fans teach their kids to count???



0-1
0-2
0-3
0-4
0-5
0-6

[bolts4superbowl]

every single one of the chargers except L.T were sick with the flu. That week they were playing the raiders, so the raiders played just Lt, Lt playing every position. At the end he came back to his hotel and with a sad face said I tied 14-14. his teammates said why are you upset, you were a one man team! and lt responded, yeah, but I was ejected in the first quater

[ayehoto]

how many raider fans does it take to change a light bulb?







NONE. LT lights their @$$3$ up enough for them.

[Davidgtza2]

ok this is actually a joke in spanish but it works too.

READ IT

A guy walks into a Raiders fan TV room, theres a dog in there barking and running around, the guy asks the raiders fan, whats with your dog? Then he says: Oh he does this everytime the Raiders lose. Then the other guys asks: Oh and what does he do when the Raiders win? Then the raiders fan answers:

I dont know he's only 4 years old...

[kutsie2]

A Chargers fan used to amuse himself by scaring every Oakland Raider fan he would see strutting down the side of the road in their obnoxious silver and black colors.
He would swerve his van as if to hit them and then he would swerve back on the road.
One day, as the van driver was driving along he saw a priest hitchhiking. He thought he would do a good deed so he turned around and pulled over. He asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?"
"I'm going to say Mass at St. Joseph's Church, about five miles down the road!", replied the priest
"No problem, Father! I'll give you a lift. Climb in!"
The happy priest climbed into the passenger seat and the van continued down the road. Suddenly the driver saw a Raider fan walking down the road and instinctively he swerved as if to hit him, but just in time he swerved back to the road, narrowly missing the idiot.
Even though he was certain he missed the guy, he still heard a loud "THUD."
Not understanding where the noise came from he glanced in his mirrors and he didn't see anything.
Then he remembered the priest and he turned to the priest and said, "I'm sorry, Father. I almost hit that Oakland Raider fan."
"That's okay," replied the priest. "I got the ******* with the door!"

That is some really funny stuff!! I almost pulled a Raider fan favorite and peed on myself!!
:Helmet:

[ChargerGal76]

What do The Oakland Raiders & Jerry Fallwell have in Common?















They both have the abality to make 70,000 people stand up and yell "JESUS CHRIST!"

[SDBoltsGirl]

OAKLAND, (CA)--Oakland Raiders football practice was delayed nearly two hours today after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery substance on the practice field. Head coach Art Shell immediately suspended practice and called the police and federal investigators. After a complete analysis, FBI forensic experts determined that the white substance unknown to players was the GOAL LINE. Practice resumed after special agents decided the team was unlikely to encounter the substance again.

^thats my favorite (:


then this one::

Al Davis had finally put together the perfect Oakland Raiders team for '98. The only thing he was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges, and even the high schools, and he couldn't find a quarterback that would ensure a SuperBowl win.

Then one night, watching CNN, he saw a war zone in Bosnia. In the background, out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a young Bosnian soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand grenade straight into a 15th story window 200 yards away! He threw another grenade into a group of about 10 soldiers a good 110 yards away! A car passes going 80 miles (120 km) an hour, and he send another grenade right into the barely open window. "I've got to get this guy," Al says to himself, "He has the perfect arm!"
So he brings him to the States and teaches him the game of football. Predictably, the young man breaks all the NFL records for completed passes, and the Raiders go on to win the SuperBowl.
The young Bosnian is lionized as the Great Hero of SuperBowl XXXIII, and when Al asks him what he wants, all the young man wants to do is to call his mother.
"Mom," the young man says into the receiver, "I just won the SuperBowl."
"I don't want to talk to you, " the old woman says, "You deserted us. You're not my son."
"I don't think you understand, mother." the young man pleads, "I just won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm in the middle of thousands of adoring fans."
"No, let me tell you," the mother implores. "At this very moment, there are gun shots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and this week your sister was attacked in broad daylight..." The old lady pauses, then says through her tears, "I'll never forgive you for moving us to Oakland!"

[guerro619]

Seriously, for God's sake please go back to school and learn how to spell.

And please use punctuation marks. Just like a raider fan (wannabe) can't spell, Can't make sense.

Faiders will and always..... SUCK

[Rivers_owns]

The other day Norv Turner visited the Chargers' training camp. He approached Marty and said, "Gee Marty, you were able to turn your team around in just one season. Could I ask you how you did it?" Marty replied to him that you just need to have smart players. He called Drew Brees over and asked him, "Hey Drew, who is your Father's Brother's Nephew?" "Me" Drew Brees responded.

Norv Turner returns to camp in Oakland and asks Randy Moss the same question, "Who is your Father's Brother's Nephew?" Randy Moss said he would need some time to think about it. The coach told him that he needed to have an answer by the end of practice. Randy Moss runs over to Kerry Collins and asks, "Who is your Father's Brother's Nephew." "Thats easy, it's me," Kerry Collins replied.

Practice finally ends and sure enough Norv Turner is waiting for Randy Moss. Norv asks Randy one final time, "Who is your Father's Brother's Nephew?" Randy answers, "Kerry Collins." Norv looks at Randy with rage and says, "No you idiot! It's Drew Brees!"

Hopefully Norv isn't that stupid in real life :D

[Rivers_owns]

:LightsOut: ]


Uh, only Charger fans may use that symbol.

:LightsOut: :LightsOut: :LightsOut:

[kerr76]

The other day Norv Turner visited the Chargers' training camp. He approached Marty and said, "Gee Marty, you were able to turn your team around in just one season. Could I ask you how you did it?" Marty replied to him that you just need to have smart players. He called Drew Brees over and asked him, "Hey Drew, who is your Father's Brother's Nephew?" "Me" Drew Brees responded.

Norv Turner returns to camp in Oakland and asks Randy Moss the same question, "Who is your Father's Brother's Nephew?" Randy Moss said he would need some time to think about it. The coach told him that he needed to have an answer by the end of practice. Randy Moss runs over to Kerry Collins and asks, "Who is your Father's Brother's Nephew." "Thats easy, it's me," Kerry Collins replied.

Practice finally ends and sure enough Norv Turner is waiting for Randy Moss. Norv asks Randy one final time, "Who is your Father's Brother's Nephew?" Randy answers, "Kerry Collins." Norv looks at Randy with rage and says, "No you idiot! It's Drew Brees!"




NOOOOOO now Norv is with us. so does he now know that his fathers brothers nephew is Phillip Rivers

[Stone]

I think it flows better now.
The other day Lane Kiffin visited the Chargers' training camp. He approached Norv and said, "Gee Norv, this team went 14-2 last year. Could I ask you how they did it?" Norv replied to him that you just need to have smart players. He called Philip Rivers over and asked him, "Hey Phil, who is your Father's Brother's Nephew?" "Me" Philip Rivers responded.

Lane Kiffin returns to camp in Oakland and asks Randy Moss the same question, "Who is your Father's Brother's Nephew?" Randy Moss said he would need some time to think about it. The coach told him that he needed to have an answer by the end of practice. Randy Moss runs over to Andrew Walters and asks, "Who is your Father's Brother's Nephew." "Thats easy, it's me," Andrew replied.

Practice finally ends and sure enough Lane Kiffin is waiting for Randy Moss. Lane asks Randy one final time, "Who is your Father's Brother's Nephew?" Randy answers, "Andrew Walters!" Lane looks at Randy with rage and says, "No you idiot! It's Philip Rivers!"

[ChargersFan55]

America has a better chance finding osama than finding a smart raiders fan

[guerro619]

what do Raiders and Virgins have in common?

They never really scored!!! :LightsOut:

[TurnerThaBurner]

^ ouch! :LightsOut:




How can you tell if Raider fans have been tailgating in the Q's parking lot?



All the tires are missing.

[guerro619]

not to mention radios missing and alot of depressed faider fans after a huge butt whoopin by the :Bolt:

[Stone]

http://i64.photobucket.com/albums/h193/mrstone2117/Untitled-2.jpg
http://espn-ak.starwave.com/photo/2007/0207/nba_maninmiddle_195.jpg
I'm just presenting information.

[ChargersBoi]

Why did the Raider fan cross the road






Answer:

Cause he got tired of losing

[SD Chargers21]

There was a 2nd grade teacher who was a Raiders fan. One day she was telling her class that she was a Raiders fan and wanted the kids to put their hands up if they were Raiders fans as well. All of the class put their hands up even though they did not know what she was talking about to win her approval except for Suzy.

The teacher saw that Suzy's hand was not up and asked her why not. Little Suzy replied "I am a Charger Fan!" The teacher, obviously annoyed by little Suzy's answer sneered "Why are you a Chargers Fan?"

Little Suzy said, "My mommy is a Chargers fan and my daddy is a Chargers fan, so I am a Chargers fan."

Now the teacher is really mad, "So, if your mother is a dumbass and your father is an idiot, what would that make you?"

Little Suzy thought about it for a minute and replied "I guess that would make me a Raider fan!"
Funniest one yet.

[Woodhikorn]

Raiders new motto: "Commitment to excrement".

[RYFLE]

I always liked this one:

How do you keep a Raider fan out of your yard?

Put up some goal post

[daboltfan13]

An elementary teacher starts a new job at a school in St. Paul , Minnesota and trying to make a good impression on her first day explains to her class that she's a Viking fan.

She asks the class to raise their hands if they too are Viking fans. Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.

The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says: "Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?"

"Because I'm not a Viking fan," she replied.

The teacher, still shocked, asks: "Well, if you're not a Vikings fan; then who do you support?"

"I'm a Charger fan, and proud of it," Mary replied.

The teacher could not believe her ears. "Well Mary, might you explain why are you a Charger fan?"

"Because my mom and dad are from San Diego and my mom is a Charger fan and my dad is a Charger fan, so I'm a Charger fan too!"

"Well," said the teacher, in an obviously annoyed tone, "that's no reason for you to be a Charger fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mom was a prostitute and your dad was a drug addict and a car thief, what would you be then?"

Mary said, "I'd be a Raiders fan."

[daboltfan13]

Funniest one yet.
that's the way I thought it went?

[SD Chargers21]

that's the way I thought it went?
o srry about that

[silverblack]

What do you call a bunch of idiot dolt fans on the internet? San Diego chargers forum

[OKCBOLTSFAN]

What do you call a bunch of idiot dolt fans on the internet? San Diego chargers forum
Don't make me tell your warden you don't play well with others:nono:

[red star]

Don't make me tell your warden you don't play well with others:nono:


Recent studies have shown that people are 33% more likely to commit a crime while wearing a Raiders jersey.

[SP17BOLT]

Don't make me tell your warden you don't play well with others:nono:


Post of the day :Beer:

[silverblack]

Oh please. Don't be a big baby. I posted the best joke that has ever graced your sorry forum.

[nzboltzaa]

Why did the Chargers only win 21-14 at home against the Raiders









Too busy laughing at the faider fans who travelled with them

[SuperBowlBolts]

3 Football fans were working on a high rise, a Charger fan, a Donko fan and a Faider fan.

At lunch time the Charger fan opened his his lunch box and found a PB&J, "I hate PB&J", the charger fan said, and swore if he got it again the next day he'd jump off of the building.

The Donko Fan opened his lunch and found a Ham and Cheese, "God I hate Ham and Cheese, and I get it every day, If i get it tommorow I'll jump!"

The Faider fan opend his lunch and found a baloney sandwich. God I hate this Baloney so much If i get it again tommorow I'll Jump!"

Well the next day the Charger fan opend his lunch and found PB&J. and jumped to his death. The Donko fan found he had ham and cheese, and jumped to his death, and the Faider Fan found Baloney and jumped to his death.

Later that day the news was interviewing their wives. The charger fan's wife was crying and said if I had only listened to him when he told me he hated PB&J, the Donko fan's wife said I should have listened and made him something different too.

The Faider wife said what are you looking at me for, that dummy packs his own lunch!

hahaha nice, but i thought the joke was about the wives who made the lunch a blonde, a brunette and a red hair women?