Chuck Norris

[chargertom]

CHUCK NORRIS

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till."
After you ask, "Two seconds till what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him.

When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."

Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger; it is actually a list of people that Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked in the face that day.

If you unscramble the letters in "Chuck Norris" you get "Huck corn, sir." That is why every fall, Chuck travels to Nebraska and burns the entire state down.

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more "humane".

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.

Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

Don't mess with Chuck! :)

Note: Stolen from fark.com

[Dan40]

This was in the fark.com Chargers-Colts game thread!

Looks like you couldn't print the whole list here though. :)

[chargertom]

Yeah ... I noted that I stole it from fark.com. And you're right ... it did need some 'editing' to put it here.

Go Chargers! :Bolt:

[TJ21]

Awesome man, unbeliavably awesome. These things are gonna be a hit.

Could someone PM me the link to the original?

[IgorUnchained]

It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.


This "Chuck Norris" sounds like a worthy adversary. A man, not unlike myself, who others recognize as a force to be reckoned with. ;)

[benji929]

Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.


:) That one's my favorite.

Remember when Conan O'brien used to show random clips from Walker, Texas Ranger? Chuck Norris would randomly roundhouse kick someone in pretty much every clip.

[IgorUnchained]

:) That one's my favorite.

Remember when Conan O'brien used to show random clips from Walker, Texas Ranger? Chuck Norris would randomly roundhouse kick someone in pretty much every clip.


I used to love when Conan would bring up the lever that, when pulled, would produce a funny clip from Walker: Texas Ranger.......my girlfriend and I would howl and cry with laughter.

THAT is exactly the kind of thing that makes me laugh out loud.

[Dan40]

CHUCK NORRIS never sneezes. That would be a waste of energy. Instead he saves it in his right foot just in case he encounters people talking on cell phones in the movie theater.

[benji929]

I used to love when Conan would bring up the lever that, when pulled, would produce a funny clip from Walker: Texas Ranger.......my girlfriend and I would howl and cry with laughter.

THAT is exactly the kind of thing that makes me laugh out loud.

lol. The best part was that the clips were never intended to be funny. They were just normal clips from the show. But out-of-context, they were funniest things ever. Conan might just be the funniest man on earth. I mean you have to be a comedy genius to come up with the "Walker, Texas Ranger Lever".

[Sled Dog]

Maybe the Chargers can hire Chuck Norris to coach the defensive secondary, and when QJ gets toasted or commits a PI penalty, he can roundhouse kick him in the face.

[SupaChagaZ]

That was awesome.

[Dan40]

Chuck responds (http://go.fark.com/cgi/fark/go.pl?IDLink=1849778&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.chucknorris.com%2Fhtml%2 Fevents.aspx%3Ftype%3D1).

[TJ21]

Chuck responds (http://go.fark.com/cgi/fark/go.pl?IDLink=1849778&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.chucknorris.com%2Fhtml%2 Fevents.aspx%3Ftype%3D1).
That cannot be real? Can it? Wow. I mean, it's like.... hmm... wow.

[mtxsound]

That cannot be real? Can it? Wow. I mean, it's like.... hmm... wow.

I saw him on Hannity and Colmes and he acknowledged it and said basically the same thing. He thinks they are funny, and doesnt consider them to harbor any ill will towards him. He knows they are all in good fun.

On a side note. I once flew back from Hawaii and got to sit next to Chuck Norris. I got up to go to the restroom when the buckle seatbelts light was on and he roundhouse kicked me in the face. Just kidding. I did sit next to him though. He was pretty nice.

[TJ21]

As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.

[Totally Bolted]

As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.

That was witty dude. ROFLMAO

[TJ21]

That was witty dude. ROFLMAO
Heh, I wish I could take credit for it, but I can't.

Chuck Norris uses a nite lite, not because he is afraid of the dark, but rather because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

[blueJAY]

As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.
Ahahahaha.. that was so hilarious.. my chest hurts.:D

[fastbolt19]

that was good.

[mk87]

I like how in his reply, he somehow managed to promote his autobios. XD

[TheIceCreamMan]

YOU guess just found otut hose chuck norris jokes


i was first one to see that **** up....

AlOOONG TIME ago...daum those jokes travel fast from conencticut round america..awsome

i satretd sumthin lol


they are pretty funny

[IgorUnchained]

YOU guess just found otut hose chuck norris jokes


i was first one to see that **** up....

AlOOONG TIME ago...daum those jokes travel fast from conencticut round america..awsome

i satretd sumthin lol


they are pretty funny


That is pretty cool that we have the guy who made all of that up as a poster in our forum! That is some funny stuff! Do you have any more? :)


http://img367.imageshack.us/img367/7194/chucknorrisg5vt.gif (http://imageshack.us)

[El Relámpago]

Chuck Norris kicks butt! And what a classy response in this day of jerky actors/actresses all about the image.

Jokes is funny! The devil one was my fav.

He was great in Dodgeball too...for all of 10 seconds!

[daniel dugdale]

Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu Woooooooooooooooooot

[Ice717]

He was great in Dodgeball too...for all of 10 seconds!

hell yeah that was like the funniest part

[TJ21]

hell yeah that was like the funniest part
No... the funniest part was Ben Stillers quote at the end.

****ing Chuck Norris. :D

[Totally Bolted]

A few more

"Chuck Norris is the only person to win an Olympic Gold Medal in swimming without ever getting wet."
·"One time, Chuck Norris stubbed his toe, and destroyed the whole state of Ohio."
·“Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal."
·"Chuck Norris' chest hair has chest hair."

[IgorUnchained]

http://img359.imageshack.us/img359/6893/chuckn5ih.gif (http://imageshack.us)

It seems he has a weakness to kryptonite oars....

[blueJAY]

Flash file.. Ultimate Show Down (http://www-personal.umich.edu/~afive/stuff/Ultimate%20Showdown%20of%20Ultimate%20Destiny.swf) for those who haven't seen it yet..

EDIT: Can get pretty violent, so if you don't like violence, do watch it. Well.. what do you expect if Chuck Norris is in it! I heard that before our solar system only had 8 planets, but since Chuck Norris liked the number 9, he roundhouse kicked a mountain in outer space. Today we call that mountain, "Pluto."

[TJ21]

Flash file.. Ultimate Show Down (http://www-personal.umich.edu/~afive/stuff/Ultimate%20Showdown%20of%20Ultimate%20Destiny.swf) for those who haven't seen it yet..
ROTFL! Dude! Wow! That was the best flash movie I have ever see! :D Thanks for posting it, awesome.

[bigmack2141]

http://img359.imageshack.us/img359/6893/chuckn5ih.gif (http://imageshack.us)

It seems he has a weakness to kryptonite oars....

obviously chuck norris has no peripheral vision! LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


heres are some good ones

chuck norris has counted to infinity, TWICE!
If at first you don't succeed, you're obviously not Chuck Norris.
When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

Post edited by Moderator due to sexual reference. Please see the rules regarding this, as well as abbreviated vulgar language.

[blueJAY]

ROTFL! Dude! Wow! That was the best flash movie I have ever see! :D Thanks for posting it, awesome.
LOL, I dug the music in that movie, I had to post it since it had a special appearance with you know who. :)

[blueJAY]

that was too funny. Thanks for the post!!!:Beer: :Beer: :Beer:
I dunno if any was looking for the mp3 to the song, but I googled it and you can download it here at http://fyad.org/7p2z

[Sriprachandr]

Chuck Norris has never roundhouse kicked anyone... The sheer power of Chuck Norris turning around knocks people unconcious.

Chuck Norris sneezed once, 65 million years ago... and killed the dinosaurs.

[benji929]

I haven't seen this posted yet so here it is: the ultimate source for Chuck Norris facts.

http://www.4q.cc/chuck/index.php?topthirty

Just to warn everyone, most of the "facts" on that site are sexually explicit or contain strong language so if you're offended, don't go there. If you're not, then enjoy.


Heart disease may be the new leading cause of death in women age 45 to 65, but Chuck Norris is still the leading cause of death in men age 0 to 125.

[Ice717]

http://www.4q.cc/chuck/ actully this is the one where it gives random u gave top thirty

[benji929]

One time in an airport a guy accidently called Chuck Norris "Chick Norris". He explained it was an honest mistake and apologized profusely. Chuck accepted his apology and politley signed an autograph. Nine months later, the guy's wife gave birth to a bearded baby. The guy knew exactly what had happened, and blames nobody but himself.

[SDRANGER619]

who would win Chuck Norris or Steven Segal?

[Mr. Heisman]

In a fight Chuck, in a staring contest Segal! who's the ref. Mr. Van Damm

[gregan]

Whoa , so funny!

[TheIceCreamMan]

http://aces.tabulas.com/tarebear/thumbs/grand-master-chuck-norris-bn.jpg

[DonkeyPuncher]

Does anyone own a pair?
http://img50.imageshack.us/img50/4185/chuckjeans6kh.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

[Rivers2Gates]

Just replace the word chuck norris to drew brees on everyone!! i like it better

[Ice717]

I always carry my action figure wherever i go
http://img494.imageshack.us/img494/15/chucknor2crop1ll.jpg

[Chargerville]

Bump.

This thread is too funny to die.

[Ice717]

Chuck Norris showers with Ajax... but no water

[Dan40]

Bump.

This thread is too funny to die.
Threads about Chuck Norris never die, they are cafefully maintained by message board moderators who fear repraisals and roundhouse kicks.

[Ice717]

has anyone seen the new show that shows at 5:30 in the morning Eastern time. Its called Karate Kommandos and its on cartoon network/adult swm. Freakin halirious!!!

[SuperBowlBolts]

ok stupid chuck norris joke
Chuck Norris beat me in connect four........in three moves!

[Boltfan92153]

Chuck Norris wins in Bingo after one number/letter is called.

[SDIANSD]

Chuck Norris can go a 100mph on a gokart...

[Ice717]

Chuck norris does not go hunting, because hunting would include the probability of failing, instead chuck norris goes killing

[Boltfan92153]

There is one thing Chuck Norris will never be able to do................................................ .................................................. ...
























Win a game for the Raiders!:D

[SDIANSD]

There is one thing Chuck Norris will never be able to do................................................ .................................................. ...























Win a game for the Raiders!:D

lol haha dat was a good one, it cracked me up lol

[chargertom]

There is no theory of evolution. Only a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills people.

When the Boogeyman goes to bed, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris recently visited the Virgin Islands. Now they are simply called The Islands.

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his father did.

Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.

The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Chuck Norris 2. Heart Disease 3. Cancer

Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.

When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.

When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Chuck Norris. A roundhouse kick to the face took care of Sara Lee.

Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink once.

Chuck Norris was what Willis was talkin' about.

Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough

The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.

Chuck Norris did that to Michael Jackson's face.

Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.

There is no Control button on Chuck Norris' computer because Chuck Norris is always in control.

Chuck Norris was once the F.B.I's chief negotiator. His job involved calling up criminals and saying, "This is Chuck Norris."

One day Chuck Norris accidentally severed his arm in a wood chipper. He laughed and mocked the drummer from Def Leppard. His arm grew back in 30 minutes.

The only reason the Energizer Bunny keeps going and going is because it knows Chuck Norris is after it.

Jeeves asks Chuck Norris.

[dorsaroll156]

is from walker texas ranger

[enjoydispinoy]

chuck norris made onions cry

[Hamburglar]

Yes!!! This thread is back!!!!

By the way, Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter :eek:

[Chargers Fan]

For those who haven't seen it...
Despite descending from Heaven (and quickly killing Batman), Chuck was eventually unable to prevail in The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny.

It takes a moment to load.

http://www.ultimateshowdown.org/

[gwpeterson5]

For those who haven't seen it...
Despite descending from Heaven (and quickly killing Batman), Chuck was eventually unable to prevail in The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny.

It takes a moment to load.

http://www.ultimateshowdown.org/

that was simply amazing, i forwarded it to all my buds ahhaha

[chargertom]

You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Chuck Norris only misses 30%.

The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Chuck Norris’s fist.

When you open a can of whoop-ass, Chuck Norris jumps out.

Chuck Norris got a perfect score on his SAT's, simply by writing Chuck Norris for every answer.

Each individual hair in Chuck Norris' beard has a beard of its own.

Chuck Norris is said to have roundhouse kicked a McDonald's so hard that it became a Wendy's.

Chuck Norris invented a language that uses kicks and punches. So if he kicks your ass, don't take it personally. He may just be trying to say that he likes your hat.

Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with five times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilizer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.

A company once tried to market Chuck Norris toilet paper. It failed miserably when they realized it wouldn't take any crap from anyone.

Not everyone that Chuck Norris is mad at gets killed. Some get away. They are called astronauts.

Chuck Norris has to register every part of his body as a separate lethal weapon. His spleen is considered a concealed weapon in over 50 states.

"Sweating bullets" is literally what happens when Chuck Norris gets too hot.

Chuck Norris once participated in the running of the bulls. He walked.

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

"Let the Bodies Hit the Floor" was originally written as Chuck Norris' theme song.

Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one has ever dared ask why

Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a salesman. Over the phone.

The pen is mighter than the sword, but only if the pen is held by Chuck Norris.

Quickly count from one to ten. That's how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill you...Forty seven times.

Chuck Norris is not Politically Correct. He is Always Correct. ALWAYS!

Chuck Norris doesn’t search Google. He just stares at the screen until Google pops the website he needs.

When a tsunami happens, it’s because Chuck Norris is swimming laps in the ocean.

Chuck Norris’s belly button is actually a power outlet.

On his birthday, Chuck Norris blows out his candles by blinking.

Chuck Norris uses a staple gun as hair gel.

[chargertom]

Chuck Norris once sued Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper, insisting that that actually is "his" way.

Chuck Norris can start a fire with a magnifying glass. At night!

Chuck Norris' favorite cereal is Kellogg's Nails 'N' Gravel.

As President Roosevelt said: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself." They cut the mic before the President could say "And Chuck Norris."

Crime does not pay - unless you are an undertaker following Walker, Texas Ranger, around while he is out on a routine patrol.

Chuck Norris is the only person to ever win a staring contest against Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder at the same time.

"Brokeback Mountain" is not just a movie. It's also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard.

When God said, "let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say 'please'."

Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.

Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a Chuck Norris stare will liquefy your kidneys.

In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.

Chuck Norris has never been in a fight, ever. Do you call one roundhouse kick to the face a fight?

Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.

Jean-Claude Van Damme once kicked Chuck Norris' ass. He was then awakened from his dream by a merciless roundhouse kick to the face.

Chuck Norris knows everything there is to know - Except for the definition of mercy.

If you're driving down the road and you think Chuck Norris just cut you off, you better thank your lucky stars it wasn't the other way around.

If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, don't ask him for his three-hole-punch.

Most people fear the Reaper. Chuck Norris considers him "a promising Rookie".

Chuck Norris was banned from competitive bullriding after a 1992 exhibition in San Antonio, Texas. He rode the bull 1,346 miles from Texas to Milwaukee, Wisconsin to pick up a six-pack and some cheese.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

Chuck Norris has his own line at the DMV.

Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Chuck Norris's warm-up exercises.

At his bachelor party, Chuck Norris ate the whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different colors.

Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Wahl-Keel-Yu.

[chargertom]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jAc1G3u-hxs

[chargertom]

Chuck Norris can watch 60 minutes in 20.

Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.

Chuck Norris once worked as a weatherman for the San Diego evening news. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 95% chance of Pain.

Using his trademark roundhouse kick, Chuck Norris once made a fieldgoal in RJ Stadium in Tampa Bay from the 50 yard line of Qualcomm stadium in San Diego.

Chuck Norris once pulled out a single hair from his beard and skewered three men through the heart with it.

In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.

Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

Before he forgot a gift for Chuck Norris, Santa Claus was real.

Chuck Norris doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."

Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

Chuck Norris knows a wrong way to eat a Reeses.

On Neil Armstrong's second step on the moon, he found a note that said, "Chuck Norris was here."

Every dinosaur skull ever found has the imprint of a size 12 cowboy boot on its jaw. Scientists are baffled, but we know why.

Chuck Norris does not have to mow his lawn. Once a week he simply stares at the grass and dares it to grow.

If Chuck Norris is late, time had BETTER slow down.

Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

Chuck Norris once broke the land speed record on a bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tire.

Chuck Norris is a man of few words. Chuck Norris is not a man of few roundhouse kicks to the face.

If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? Chuck Norris.

Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a Delta Force marathon on Satellite TV.

[HighBoltage]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6r9eOLoc_s&search=chuck%20norris

[Stone]

Chuck Norris once kidnapped an Israeli soldier for the fun of it. Israel sent him a fruitbasket.

[Bolts76]

Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive , can leap tall buldings in a single bound. Look up, in the sky, is it a bird, no, a plane , no, it's Chuck Norris.

[jadeyknoxville]

uh...would this help?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9v8PuaBkNoo&search=bruce%20lee

:D

[HighBoltage]

uh...would this help?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9v8PuaBkNoo&search=bruce%20lee

:D
Didn't help me. One of Chuck's roundhouse kicks kicked me out of Youtube.

That kitten rocks!

[jubei]

uh...would this help?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9v8PuaBkNoo&search=bruce%20lee

:D
One of the classic Bruce Lee fight scenes---teacher vs disciple. of course nobody beats the man...unless his name is...JUBEI!!!

[Stone]

Good start, but let's play with it:

They tested Chuck Norris for steriods once. It was the first time in recorded history that someone was roundhouse kicked by urine.

[jadeyknoxville]

One of the classic Bruce Lee fight scenes---teacher vs disciple. of course nobody beats the man...unless his name is...JUBEI!!!

bwahaha....especially Jubei from ninja scroll...saw that in high school. man, he was L.T. with a sword:D :Beer:

[NukeGuzzle]

I work in IT and we recently named 2 of our new servers "Chuck" and "Norris". I'm thinking the next one should be named "Beard"

[rammerjammer]

I work in IT and we recently named 2 of our new servers "Chuck" and "Norris". I'm thinking the next one should be named "Beard"

You should go the route Will Ferrell went: name them Walker, and Texas Ranger.

[NukeGuzzle]

You should go the route Will Ferrell went: name them Walker, and Texas Ranger.

You know we discussed that, we'll see. Other options were Round and House.

[Bolts76]

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/page1.html

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/


More Chuck Norris facts:D