The Best Books Never Written

[OC BOLTED]

Good for laughs after a tough loss. Just write the title of the best book(s) never written (doesn't have to be football/sports related). I'll start:

"Truth and Justice in Officiating" by Ed Hochuli

"Good Advice" by Deion Sanders (foreword by Antonio Cromartie)

"Creating Employee Loyalty" by Al Davis

"Exceeding Expectations" by Matt Leinart

[starry]

"How to tackle in football" by Matt Wilhelm and Derek Smith

[CruX]

"How to broadcast an NFL game without sounding completely biased" by Randy Cross

[dekkerbasser]

"How I Survived Diabetes" Jay Cutler

[boltcorpse]

"Paper or Plastic" and it's best-selling sequel "It's in the Bag" by Boltcorpse.

[dekkerbasser]

"Fun With Video Cameras" by Bill Belichek and Mike Shanahan

[Jesse21SD]

"How to explain the obvious" by John Madden

[sagagsr]

"Strength and Conditioning- the Natural and Organic way" By Rodney Harrison

[OC BOLTED]

"The Best Shape of My Life" by Charlie Weiss

[sdcfan720]

"The Best Shape of My Life" by Jared Lorenzenfixed it for ya!

[dekkerbasser]

"Most Convincing Email AutoReplies" Ed Hocholi

[OC BOLTED]

"Most Convincing Email AutoReplies" Ed Hocholi

LOL

"Keys to Having Good Skin" by Norv Turner

"People Like Me" by Skip Bayless

"Being a Good Citizen" by Raider Nation

[Digerati]

You Are Not A Fan -- By Various members of the Chargers forum.

Table of contents.

1. You've stepped outside San Diego city limits, you're not a fan.
2. Bandwagoneers, I'll decide who you are and what qualifies you for that.
3. Bag Heads, paint your bag blue and yellow with a lightning bolt on it, you're still no fan.
4. I'm a bigger fan than you, therefore your not a fan.
5. You get upset when they lose, you're no fan.
6. You don't get upset when they lose, you're no fan.
7. You have less posts than me, you're no fan.
8. I'm the only fan, unless you agree with me, then you can be mini-fan.
9. I'm a bigger fan than you.
10. Ceiling fans.

Appendix A - List of fans who are not really fans.
Appendix B - Scratch Appendix A, no book is that big, List of true fans.

[Wendy]

"Tom Brady: An Intimate Biography" by Peter King

"The 3-4 Defense for Dummies" by Ted Cottrell

"I Blew It: The Story of a Man and His Whistle"
by Ed Hochuli

"How to Make $43 Million Dollars Without Really Trying"
by Luis Castillo

"The Luckiest Man Alive" by Norv Turner

[Digerati]

"Tom Brady: An Intimate Biography" by Peter King

"The 3-4 Defense for Dummies" by Ted Cottrell

"I Blew It: The Story of a Man and His Whistle"
by Ed Hochuli

"How to Make $43 Million Dollars Without Really Trying"
by Luis Castillo

"The Luckiest Man Alive" by Norv Turner

Your good. Very good.

[BlackwaterNYC]

"Life After Pamela", by David Binn

[DBBoltsfan17]

"how not to cover receivers" by Antonio Cromartie

[Digerati]

"Christian Parenting" - Lynne Spears

[packman76]

Ed Hoc's Guide to Ad-Hoc Officiating
"How to enforce stupid rules with a straight face"


Critics are raving about this insightful look into the world of NFL referees having really bad days on the job:


"What book? Ed hasn't written any book. The NFL cannot give a review on a book that has not been written. And even if we could, our computer equipment is malfunctioning (for more than 2 minutes now) so we couldn't print it." - NFL Vice President of Officiating Mike Pereira

"A personal favorite of mine. This is Ed's best work yet." - Mike Shanahan

"Please buy my book. I need money for weapons and bodyguards so I can make it out of San Diego." - Ed Hochuli


Recommended by 9 out of 10 masochistic Chargers fans. Order yours today!

[packman76]

"Eliminating Pressure: Reducing Life's Rush" by Ted Cottrell

[OC BOLTED]

"Second Opinion: My Knee is Fine" by Shaun Merriman

"Helmets Are For Sissys" by Ben Roethlisberger

"Team Loyalty" by Brett Favre

[Onyournrvs]

"From Good to Great to Bad" by Ted Cottrell
"Chicken Soup for the Chargers Fan Soul" by Norval Eugene Turner
"How to Win Enemies and Influence Games" by Ed Hochuli

[TurnerThaBurner]

"How I Found A Ref In My Pocket" by Mike Shanahan

[EnFuego]

The Key's to Avoiding Injuries- The San Diego Chargers

[sd4lyph]

"Exploiting The Chargers Defense, so easy a caveman can do it" - by Caveman

[Pigpimpc]

LOL Those are funny

"We're In It For the Fans" - San Diego Chargers Ticket Office and Parking Management

"You Needed Me" Mr. Marlon McCree

[Rivers_owns]

"Handling Pressure" by Vince Young

[Pigpimpc]

"Clutch Pass Defense" by Eric Weddle

[Timmet2332]

"10 catches in front of me..10 catches behind me. A cornerbacks guide to getting torched on gameday." --Antonio Cromartie

[Wendy]

"The Invisible Man" by Shaun Phillips

"Lost in Space" by Matt Wilhelm

"The Guide to Enjoying Your Early Retirement" by Derek Smith

"I Quit Basketball for This?" by Antonio Gates

"My Favorite Touchdown Celebrations" by DeSean Jackson

and one I really, really wish would come out one day...

"My Life as a Mute" by Tony Kornheiser

[IGOR RULES]

"Safekeeping of Gucci-Bags" by Tatum Bell

"How to Clean my Hot-Tub" by Matt Leinart

"An Advanced Guide to Collect Sports Memorabilia" by O.J. Simpson

"A Memorable Vacation in Baja California" by Tony Romo

"A Sorrow Corner" a novel by Ellis Hobbs

[kutsie2]

[quote=Wendy;2080083
"My Favorite Touchdown Celebrations" by DeSean Jackson

[/quote]
"How to Fake Out Your Own Running Back" by Donovan McNabb

[ktmjim]

"The nuisances of the post pattern" by Buster Davis

"The road to the Super Bowl" by Marty S.

[supercharged21]

"The road to the Super Bowl" by Marty S.


Ouch, that one hurt a little......:helmet

[Air Norv]

How about...

Mr. Average - The Matt Wilhelm Story

[TurnerThaBurner]

"Fun With Popcorn" by Terrell Owens

"Making It Rain: Booty, Bling, & Bullets" by Pacman Jones

"Man's Best Friend: A Guide To Better Caring For Your Dog" by Michael Vick

[Merfinator]

"

"How to Make $43 Million Dollars Without Really Trying"
by Luis Castillo
That one gave me a hearty laugh. :LightsOut:

[nzboltzaa]

"I Blew It: The Story of a Man and His Whistle"
by Ed Hochuli


We have a winner...

[woodysgi]

"How to Win Enemies and Influence Games" by Ed HochuliA play on an actual book title.

Nicely done.

[CaliGirlInPA]

"Tom Brady: An Intimate Biography" by Peter King

"The 3-4 Defense for Dummies" by Ted Cottrell

"I Blew It: The Story of a Man and His Whistle"
by Ed Hochuli

"How to Make $43 Million Dollars Without Really Trying"
by Luis Castillo

"The Luckiest Man Alive" by Norv Turner


very nice!

[SD4ME]

Haha This is great


"I Blew It: The Story of a Man and His Whistle"
by Ed Hochuli

Nice one

[woodysgi]

"The Beach is THAT WAY!"

"Do You Have Your Tickets to the Gun Show?"

both by Ed Hochuli

[56lightsout56]

"The Idiot: The Jay Cutler Story" by Cuddles

"An inside look at Prisons; McAfee Stadium" by Raider inmate 12547597

"Lie Dectors Dont Lie!!" by Mike Shannahan

[SanDiegosOnFire]

"Counting in Spanish" by Chad Ocho Cinco
"The Hobbit" by Darren Sproles

[Maruchan]

"The Spy Who Came from the Cold " by: Matt Walsh

"The Devil’s Cloth: A History of Stripes" By: Ed Hochuli

"Premature Burial, And How It May Be Prevented" By: Al Davis

[VistaFan]

"I Blew It: The Story of a Man and His Whistle"
by Ed Hochuli


haha. that could be taken a few ways...

[OC BOLTED]

"The Proper Care and Beating of Women" by Brandon Marshall, foreword by Dennis Northcutt

[woodysgi]

"The Proper Care and Beating of Women" by Brandon Marshall, foreword by Dennis NorthcuttThe advanced version by Rae Carruth.