Ask Ringo

[boltcorpse]

Ringo is the man with the answers.

If you want real answers to any question... don't ask Dek, don't ask Corpse... ask Ringo.


This thread is proudly brought to you by TRAC

[FCBolt]

Crazy coincidence.
I started an 'Ask JTC' thread at the same time.

JTC is the real being with the answers.

I'll be referring a few in his direction.

[Shamrock]

http://img230.imageshack.us/img230/5504/wwwmessentoolscomvariosl.gif (http://img230.imageshack.us/i/wwwmessentoolscomvariosl.gif/)


Is that Ringo, heading to ice dancing practice?

[FCBolt]

http://img230.imageshack.us/img230/5504/wwwmessentoolscomvariosl.gif (http://img230.imageshack.us/i/wwwmessentoolscomvariosl.gif/)


Is that Ringo, heading to ice dancing practice?

Ask JTC (http://forums.chargers.com/showthread.php?t=72254) ;)

__________

[boltcorpse]

I think we may be on to something here... I can defer all my questions to Dek, who can refer them to Ringo, who can refer them to Jubi... who will never answer them ;)

[FCBolt]

I think we may be on to something here... I can defer all my questions to Dek, who can refer them to Ringo, who can refer them to Jubi... who will never answer them ;)

Where the farg is Dek?

Never mind, I'll

Ask Dek ;)

(and what about the Ask Shammy thread--I guarantee you'll get answers there).

[bolt635]

Ringo,

Within this thread should all post be in Green? :D

[FCBolt]

Ringo,

Within this thread should all post be in Green? :D

No.
______________

[DFWBoltFan]

Ringo,

Will anyone ever ask Jubi a question?

[FCBolt]

Ringo,

Will anyone ever ask Jubi a question?


I already did.
3 in fact.

[kramxel]

Who should I ask?

[FCBolt]

Who should I ask?

JTC.
He's the man.

[kramxel]

JTC.
He's the man.

Already did....

Still, no closer to the truth....

[FCBolt]

Already did....

Still, no closer to the truth....

No one is.
__________

[kramxel]

No one is.
__________

Well, you can't blame me for trying, can you?

[FCBolt]

Well, you can't blame me for trying, can you?

hell no.
__________________

[boltcorpse]

Dear Ringo:

Is Jubi "above" answering questions from the masses?

Sincerely,
Snubbed

[FCBolt]

Dear Ringo:

Is Jubi "above" answering questions from the masses?

Sincerely,
Snubbed


No.
He must be asked in the right manner (and probably not in the Ask JTC thread).

[kramxel]

No.
He must be asked in the right manner (and probably not in the Ask JTC thread).

Will you provide a "how to ask JTC" formula?

[FCBolt]

Will you provide a "how to ask JTC" formula?

1. Find which thread he's hanging in.
2. Make salient point in same thread (off or on topic doesn't matter, so long as pt is salient).
3. Cast question in similarly salient matter.

Lots of ways to make lasagna though.

[kramxel]

1. Find which thread he's hanging in.
2. Make salient point in same thread (off or on topic doesn't matter, so long as pt is salient).
3. Cast question in similarly salient matter.

Cool!!!

Now, how about a JTC tracker?

[FCBolt]

Cool!!!

Now, how about a JTC tracker?


For any CMB member, just click on their profile and it'll tell you the last thread they were viewing if they've logged on in the last 24 hrs or so.

[kramxel]

For any CMB member, just click on their profile and it'll tell you the last thread they were viewing if they've logged on in the last 24 hrs or so.

Hmmm... Didn't know that!

A nice little feature!

[Oregon BoltCpl]

Ringo...........What exactly is the Reverse Mojo Club and does it truly exist??

[guerro619]

Dear Ringo:

Is Jubi "above" answering questions from the masses?

Sincerely,
Snubbed

Hee hee.... He answered my question. :D

I'm officially on the JTCFC. The Jubi T Ca****e Fan Club. ;) he's the Messiah.

[FCBolt]

Ringo...........What exactly is the Reverse Mojo Club and does it truly exist??

1. I don't know.
2. No.

[FCBolt]

Hee hee.... He answered my question. :D

I'm officially on the JTCFC. The Jubi T Ca****e Fan Club. ;) he's the Messiah.


According to him, we're all the Messiah.

[boltcorpse]

Dear Ringo:

Is Chile an alternate vacay destination to Cabo?

Sincerely,
Needing some R&R

[FCBolt]

Dear Ringo:

Is Chile an alternate vacay destination to Cabo?

Sincerely,
Needing some R&R

Stalky and Bizzie were last seen in Antarctica, so anything's possible.
Chile has less fat American tourists than Cabo, so you won't find MJ there ;)

[kramxel]

Dear Ringo,

Why was your thread on page 2?




A watchful poster.

[FCBolt]

Dear Ringo,

Why was your thread on page 2?




A watchful poster.

I was timing it to see how long it took to sink to the bottom. ;)

reset clock...

[boltcorpse]

Dear Ringo:

Can I renegotiate my agency contract with you? I'm thinking rather than 15% I should get 51%... your thoughts?

Sincerely,
Greedy bastage

[FCBolt]

Dear Ringo:

Can I renegotiate my agency contract with you? I'm thinking rather than 15% I should get 51%... your thoughts?

Sincerely,
Greedy bastage

I thought the contract said that you could embezzle whatever you wanted.
Why the farg do you need to bring in %'s???

clock reset...

[boltcorpse]

Dear Ringo:

What the farg does "OTOH" mean?

Sincerely,
President of TRAC

[FCBolt]

Dear Ringo:

What the farg does "OTOH" mean?

Sincerely,
President of TRAC


Ask Google ;)

clock reset....

[boltcorpse]

Ask Google ;)

clock reset....

http://forums.chargers.com/showthread.php?t=72413

Done...

[bolt635]

FC,


Do you believe that if you dream long and hard for something to happen it will?

[FCBolt]

FC,


Do you believe that if you dream long and hard for something to happen it will?


No.
Only people in the greater LA area believe that crap (proximity to Hollywood)
You've gotta make it happen.

[boltcorpse]

Dear Ringo:

Is there any reason for hope now or should we abandon all hope and just drink beer?

[FCBolt]

Dear Ringo:

Is there any reason for hope now or should we abandon all hope and just drink beer?

There is hope now.
Ask again on Tuesday. ;)

[boltcorpse]

There is hope now.
Ask again on Tuesday. ;)

Can I ask you Monday @ 9:30PM PST?

Follow up question - what if you are in Cabo @ 9:30PM PST - then who I should I ask?

[kramxel]

Dear Ringo,

What is hope?


Sicerely,
An hopeless poster.

[FCBolt]

Can I ask you Monday @ 9:30PM PST?

Follow up question - what if you are in Cabo @ 9:30PM PST - then who I should I ask?


Ask Kiwi ;)

[FCBolt]

Dear Ringo,

What is hope?


Sicerely,
An hopeless poster.

Hope is the state of something to look forward to, in anticipation of that 'something' floating your boat.

[kramxel]

Hope is the state of something to look forward to, in anticipation of that 'something' floating your boat.

So when I feel we'll have 51 yards of total offense tomorrow night, that's hope?

[renojim]

Can I ask you Monday @ 9:30PM PST?

Follow up question - what if you are in Cabo @ 9:30PM PST - then who I should I ask?

If you are in Cabo @ 9:30 pst ask the bartender

[FCBolt]

So when I feel we'll have 51 yards of total offense tomorrow night, that's hope?

Only if that would float your boat.

[boltcorpse]

Dear Ringo:

Since NE beat TEN 59-0 (among other reasons), do you think Fisher's gettin' the axe?

[Renok]

Dear Ringo:

Since NE beat TEN 59-0 (among other reasons), do you think Fisher's gettin' the axe?

This one I can answer:

Fisher and Zorn are racing to the unemployment line. Zorn runs a faster 40 so I think he will be the first to the line. Zorn hurt himself by accidentally beating the Rams and the Bucs Fisher is old and his secondary being ravaged by injuries is slowing him down on the way.

[FCBolt]

Dear Ringo:

Since NE beat TEN 59-0 (among other reasons), do you think Fisher's gettin' the axe?

Good question.
I think Fisher has 10 games left to show what he's got.

imho, he's an egotistical turd who was propped up by a good DC, until this year.
I hope the Bolts don't hire him in 2010.

[boltcorpse]

Dear Ringo:

Taco promised that he'd join TRAC if the Bolts laid an egg tonight.

Is it time to collect on that wager?

Sincerely,
President of TRAC

[DFWBoltFan]

Dear Ringo:

Taco promised that he'd join TRAC if the Bolts laid an egg tonight.

Is it time to collect on that wager?

Sincerely,
President of TRAC

No need to ask Ringo. Sign me up!! (although this loss is squarely on Gooroo's shoulders).

Signed,

Ban Gooroo

[FCBolt]

Dear Ringo:

Taco promised that he'd join TRAC if the Bolts laid an egg tonight.

Is it time to collect on that wager?

Sincerely,
President of TRAC

As President, such decisions are yours and yours alone to make, unless you establish a Committee that has voting privileges, which, again, is a decision for you and you alone to make.

[boltcorpse]

No need to ask Ringo. Sign me up!! (although this loss is squarely on Gooroo's shoulders).

Welcome to TRAC, sir.

We should all strive to be more like Ringo.

On a sidenote, I sure as farg am glad nobody's blaming my arse for the season right now... my head was always on the chopping block in the past... glad it's all GooRoo's fault this time... that sheetsaucin' corkholster ;)

[DFWBoltFan]

Welcome to TRAC, sir.

We should all strive to be more like Ringo.

On a sidenote, I sure as farg am glad nobody's blaming my arse for the season right now... my head was always on the chopping block in the past... glad it's all GooRoo's fault this time... that sheetsaucin' corkholster ;)

No need to worry, sir. This loss is squarely on Gooroo's shoulders..........the tartlickin' corkholster of sheetsaucers.

PS - as the newest member of TRAC, can you please provide me with the Mission Statement, By-laws, Obligations........as well as any perks (free tee-shirt, coffee mug, etc).

Much obliged, sir.

[boltcorpse]

PS - as the newest member of TRAC, can you please provide me with the Mission Statement, By-laws, Obligations........as well as any perks (free tee-shirt, coffee mug, etc).

Much obliged, sir.

Mission Statement = strive to be more like Ringo.

By-laws = read the content of the Ask Ringo Thread.

Obligations = acknowledge Ringo as the Messiah on a daily basis.

Perks = all of the above.

If you strive to be more like Ringo your life will improve day 1, sir... you will see results quickly, guaran-fargin-teed, sir.

[DFWBoltFan]

Mission Statement = strive to be more like Ringo.

By-laws = read the content of the Ask Ringo Thread.

Obligations = acknowledge Ringo as the Messiah on a daily basis.

Perks = all of the above.

If you strive to be more like Ringo your life will improve day 1, sir... you will see results quickly, guaran-fargin-teed, sir.

I won't let you down, sir.

PS - Being the newest member, I must ask for a favor..........

Does TRAC offer protection, sir? I just received a phone call from Gooroo who obtained my number from Jackfrosting (the tartlickin'corkhoster), and is none too pleased about being blamed for the loss.

Signed,

Turnin' off the lights & lockin' the doors

[FCBolt]

I won't let you down, sir.

PS - Being the newest member, I must ask for a favor..........

Does TRAC offer protection, sir? I just received a phone call from Gooroo who obtained my number from Jackfrosting (the tartlickin'corkhoster), and is none too pleased about being blamed for the loss.

Signed,

Turnin' off the lights & lockin' the doors


The answer to your question:

Don't trust every Australian you meet on the internet.

Any other questions involving Australians should be forwarded to the Ask Jacko thread ;)

[boltcorpse]

Dear Ringo:

After the Bolts plummet to the bottom of the AFCW this Sunday, will the bandwagon hit new technical and historical lows for the millenium?

Sincerely,
Minion #51

[FCBolt]

Dear Ringo:

After the Bolts plummet to the bottom of the AFCW this Sunday, will the bandwagon hit new technical and historical lows for the millenium?

Sincerely,
Minion #51

That's outta my bailiwick.
Ask Corpsie ;)

[boltcorpse]

Dear Ringo:

Will Norv be fired during or immediately following this season?

Sincerely,
President of TRAC

[FCBolt]

Dear Ringo:

Will Norv be fired during or immediately following this season?

Sincerely,
President of TRAC

Neither.
He'll be fired sometime after all the other available HCs have been hired by other teams.

[boltcorpse]

I've got a question for you:

What are you talking about?

I asked a similar question in the Ask GooRoo thread, sir.

Personally, I think the kid's gone mad... a couple days with Wacko Jacko and he's off his rocker.

[FCBolt]

I asked a similar question in the Ask GooRoo thread, sir.

Personally, I think the kid's gone mad... a couple days with Wacko Jacko and he's off his rocker.

Looks to me like he goorooneesed himself.
Some people can handle it being goorooneesed, some can't.

[boltcorpse]

Dear Ringo:

Do you think GooRoo will lose his mind (or has lost it already) and will go on a killing spree?

Or, do you think GooRoo will end up on a permanent vacay to Cabo soon?

Sincerely,
Guessing on GooRoo

[guerro619]

Dear Ringo:

Do you think GooRoo will lose his mind (or has lost it already) and will go on a killing spree?

Or, do you think GooRoo will end up on a permanent vacay to Cabo soon?

Sincerely,
Guessing on GooRoo

Sir, you yourself declared a all out war with me. I'm lurking in the shaddows planning my attack. You will not know what or when I'll strike. While your fellow leaders and arsenall are sent packing, your Defense is weak. Be afraid. Be very afraid. ;)

[boltcorpse]

Dear Ringo:

Did you grant GooRoo the authoritah to answer questions in your thread on your behalf?

Sincerely,
Just checkin'

[FCBolt]

Dear Ringo:

Did you grant GooRoo the authoritah to answer questions in your thread on your behalf?

Sincerely,
Just checkin'

It's a free board.
Just Ask CT ;)

[boltcorpse]

Dear Ringo:

Why haven't we seen Silly or Flash this season?

You must know... spill the beans, sir...

Sincerely,
Digging for dirt...

[FCBolt]

Dear Ringo:

Why haven't we seen Silly or Flash this season?

You must know... spill the beans, sir...

Sincerely,
Digging for dirt...

I think he's busy.
Don't worry, when Norv and AJ get s-canned, he'll be back to let us all know that he's Nostradamus reincarnate.

[boltcorpse]

Dear Ringo:

I'm starting to get the feeling that the Bolts may string a couple wins in a row... have I lost my mind like GooRoo?

Sincerely,
Pollyanna

http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s86/Blue-Bolt/pollyanna-corpsie.jpg

[FCBolt]

Dear Ringo:

I'm starting to get the feeling that the Bolts may string a couple wins in a row... have I lost my mind like GooRoo?

Sincerely,
Pollyanna

http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s86/Blue-Bolt/pollyanna-corpsie.jpg


No.
____________

[guerro619]

Ringooo....

Do you realize that Corpsie is just using you for his own amusement.

[FCBolt]

Ringooo....

Do you realize that Corpsie is just using you for his own amusement.

Yes.
Like a clown.

[boltcorpse]

Dear Ringo:

Does GooRoo realize that I'm just using him for my own personal amusement?

Sincerely,
Amused...

[FCBolt]

Dear Ringo:

Does GooRoo realize that I'm just using him for my own personal amusement?

Sincerely,
Amused...

Ask Ducky ;)

[guerro619]

Ringooo....

Do you realize that Corpsie is going to bring back the pic of you on the pony???

[FCBolt]

Ringooo....

Do you realize that Corpsie is going to bring back the pic of you on the pony???

I'm not sure how the Corpse is going to 'move on' from TRAC, but it will be entertaining to watch.

[guerro619]

I'm not sure how the Corpse is going to 'move on' from TRAC, but it will be entertaining to watch.

So are you really the Messiah???

[FCBolt]

So are you really the Messiah???


YouTube - He's Not The Messiah

[boltcorpse]

I'm not sure how the Corpse is going to 'move on' from TRAC, but it will be entertaining to watch.

Dear Ringo,

Rather than 'move on' from TRAC, I am considering broadening its scope... what is the probability you would make some promotional appearances and/or accidentally launch inside an experimental flying saucer?

Would it make a difference if you weren't really inside the flying saucer, but I just said you were?

Sincerely,
President of TRAC

[FCBolt]

Dear Ringo,

Rather than 'move on' from TRAC, I am considering broadening its scope... what is the probability you would make some promotional appearances and/or accidentally launch inside an experimental flying saucer?

Would it make a difference if you weren't really inside the flying saucer, but I just said you were?

Sincerely,
President of TRAC

So long as my image isn't used, I'll ride in any saucer, even those of the sheet variety.

[boltcorpse]

So long as my image isn't used, I'll ride in any saucer, even those of the sheet variety.

Acknowledged, sir... I was indeed referencing a sheet saucer... I thought that went without saying, sir.

Question: is it safe for Jacko to be around GooRoo?

Follow up question, is it safe for GooRoo to be around Jacko?

[FCBolt]

A.Acknowledged, sir... I was indeed referencing a sheet saucer... I thought that went without saying, sir.

1.Question: is it safe for Jacko to be around GooRoo?

2. Follow up question, is it safe for GooRoo to be around Jacko?

A. I thought you were expanding to other saucers. Good to know the ole familiar sheetsaucer is still in action.

1. Yes.

2. No.

[boltcorpse]

Dear Ringo:

What the farg?

Sincerely,
Sheet

[DFWBoltFan]

Dear Ringo,

How is it possible you're not in Cabo yet?

Signed,

You ARE the Messiah

[FCBolt]

Dear Ringo:

What the farg?

Sincerely,
Sheet


idk
_______________

[FCBolt]

Dear Ringo,

How is it possible you're not in Cabo yet?

Signed,

You ARE the Messiah

Cause there's a difference between art and aussie shrimp.

[JPPT1974]

Did you name yourself after Ringo Starr of the Beatles, my favorite band btw!

[guerro619]

Dear Ringooo.... Is it safe to be around Corpsie???

Or is Corpsie safe to be around you???

You have been Jackanesed!!!

[FCBolt]

Did you name yourself after Ringo Starr of the Beatles, my favorite band btw!

Jackfrost coined the nickname, and it after Ringo Starr.
I'm more of a Zeppelin fan when it comes to classic rock, but I guess 'John' was deemed too boring.

[FCBolt]

Dear Ringooo.... Is it safe to be around Corpsie???

Or is Corpsie safe to be around you???

You have been Jackanesed!!!

1. Yes.
2. Yes.
3. You need help, mate.:Bolt::LightsOut:

[boltcorpse]

Dear Ringo,

Please select amongst each of the following:

1. Marty or Norv
2. Brees or Rivers
3. LT or Burner
4. GooRoo or Gooey
5. Jacko or Jacky
6. Corpsie or the Corpse
7. Ringo or Ringoo
8. Bacon or Sausage
9. Carne Asada Burrito or Fish Taco
10. Mojo or Reverse Mojo
11. Paper or Plastic
12. JNCP or BHC
13. Charger Tom or Kiwi
14. Air Coryell or Partyball
15. Norv or Norf

Thanks for playing...

-bc-

[guerro619]

1. Yes.
2. Yes.
3. You need help, mate.:Bolt::LightsOut:

Should I stop this feud with Corpsie and claim you as the chosen one???

[FCBolt]

Dear Ringo,

Please select amongst each of the following:

1. Marty or Norv
2. Brees or Rivers
3. LT or Burner
4. GooRoo or Gooey
5. Jacko or Jacky
6. Corpsie or the Corpse
7. Ringo or Ringoo
8. Bacon or Sausage
9. Carne Asada Burrito or Fish Taco
10. Mojo or Reverse Mojo--no such thing as either
11. Paper or Plastic
12. JNCP or BHC
13. Charger Tom or Kiwi
14. Air Coryell or Partyball
15. Norv or Norf

Thanks for playing...

-bc-

More multiple choice questions encouraged.

[FCBolt]

Should I stop this feud with Corpsie and claim you as the chosen one???

Corpse already offered the olive branch.
No need to invoke any falsely labeled messiahs.

[boltcorpse]

Corpse already offered the olive branch.
No need to invoke any falsely labeled messiahs.

My offer of truce is now conditioned upon Gooey acknowledging you as the Messiah, sir.

Gooey shall respect your authoritah, sir.

[guerro619]

Corpse already offered the olive branch.
No need to invoke any falsely labeled messiahs.

So what do I get in return for the truce???

[guerro619]

My offer of truce is now conditioned upon Gooey acknowledging you as the Messiah, sir.

Gooey shall respect your authoritah, sir.

Ringooo is clearly stating that he's not the messiah. I nominate Ducky after the KC game. ;)

[boltcorpse]

Ringooo is clearly stating that he's not the messiah.

Sir... not sure how I can get this concept to register for you, but Ringooo is the premier reverse mojo practitioner on the boards. When Ringooo says he is not the Messiah, it means he is the Messiah.

Now, what part don't you get?

I'll ask you in your Ask GooRoo thread...

[FCBolt]

So what do I get in return for the truce???

Ask boltcorpse ;)

[boltcorpse]

Dear Ringo,

Why doesn't JTC acknowledged that I exist?

Is Jubi upset with me? If so, why do you suppose he's angry?

Does JTC hate me and the BHC?

Sincerely,
Bagheads have feelings, too...

[FCBolt]

Dear Ringo,

Why doesn't JTC acknowledged that I exist?

Is Jubi upset with me? If so, why do you suppose he's angry?

Does JTC hate me and the BHC?

Sincerely,
Bagheads have feelings, too...

1. Once you align your tenses, I can attempt an answer.
2. He's playing you. Like you're a clown. There for his amusement.
3. N/A
4. No, hate is too strong a word. He disses y'all though. Used to be regularly. Then you stopped amusing him. So he moved on.

That's my take anyway.
It may, or may not, be The Truth.

[boltcorpse]

1. Once you align your tenses, I can attempt an answer.
2. He's playing you. Like you're a clown. There for his amusement.
3. N/A
4. No, hate is too strong a word. He disses y'all though. Used to be regularly. Then you stopped amusing him. So he moved on.

That's my take anyway.
It may, or may not, be The Truth.

Ah... gotcha... so I'm a clown here for his amusement.

Yes, it all makes sense now.

Thank you, sir!

[kramxel]

Dear Ringo,

What is IT?

How do you get IT?

Are you born with IT or do you have to rent IT somewhere?


The IT wonderer...

[FCBolt]

Dear Ringo,

What is IT?

How do you get IT?

Are you born with IT or do you have to rent IT somewhere?


The IT wonderer...

I don't have IT.
I'd advise that you
Ask boltcorpse ;)

[boltcorpse]

Dear Ringo,

What happened to the "Ask a Mod" Thread???

Sincerely,
Baffled...

[Stallion1994]

Ah... gotcha... so I'm a clown here for his amusement.

Yes, it all makes sense now.

Thank you, sir!

It's the bag. ;)

[Stallion1994]

Ringo, should I create an "Ask Stanly" thread?

[FCBolt]

Ringo, should I create an "Ask Stanly" thread?

No.
But you should create an "Ask Honey Bear" thread.
Would you like me to do it for you?

[boltcorpse]

No.
But you should create an "Ask Honey Bear" thread.
Would you like me to do it for you?

Sir... you wouldn't really, would you??

[Stallion1994]

No.
But you should create an "Ask Honey Bear" thread.
Would you like me to do it for you?

No thanks....

I would prefer it to just say "Ask Stanly"....

But if you are unable to type such simple words, then refrain from doing so. ;)

[Stallion1994]

Sir... you wouldn't really, would you??

I assume he's doing it as we speak. :mad:

[guerro619]

No thanks....

I would prefer it to just say "Ask Stanly"....

But if you are unable to type such simple words, then refrain from doing so. ;)

Ooohhh!!! Ask Meee....!!!! ;)

[boltcorpse]

Dear Ringo,

Why the farg didn't you answer my fargin question?

http://forums.chargers.com/showpost.php?p=2707888&postcount=107

Sincerely,
Disappointed :(

[FCBolt]

Sir... you wouldn't really, would you??

No.
I almost did.
Then figured if HB wanted that responsibility, he could go for it.
OTOH, I knew that gooey and JTC were ripe for it.

[FCBolt]

Dear Ringo,

Why the farg didn't you answer my fargin question?

http://forums.chargers.com/showpost.php?p=2707888&postcount=107

Sincerely,
Disappointed :(

Because I hadn't seen it until now.

[boltcorpse]

Because I hadn't seen it until now.

Well, can you answer it now, sir?

I'll ask the question again...

What the farg happened to the Ask a Mod Thread??

Sincerely,
Can't find it...

[FCBolt]

Dear Ringo,

What happened to the "Ask a Mod" Thread???

Sincerely,
Baffled...


I haven't looked for it lately.
If it's really gone, I'd say "They're a sensitive lot."
Did you check the feedback section though?
If it's there, I'd say "They're a hardworking lot."

[boltcorpse]

I haven't looked for it lately.
If it's really gone, I'd say "They're a sensitive lot."
Did you check the feedback section though?
If it's there, I'd say "They're a hardworking lot."

Not in "feedback" section...

Seems they are a sensitive lot, sir.

[FCBolt]

Not in "feedback" section...

Seems they are a sensitive lot, sir.

A shame.
It was probably the most useful of the "Ask..." threads...

[guerro619]

A shame.
It was probably the most useful of the "Ask..." threads...

Agreed, there we can get some good answers. :(

[boltcorpse]

Dear Ringo,

This thread almost slipped to p. 2 of Off Topic again...

We couldn't let that happen, could we, sir?

Sincerely,
-bc-

[FCBolt]

Dear Ringo,

This thread almost slipped to p. 2 of Off Topic again...

We couldn't let that happen, could we, sir?

Sincerely,
-bc-

Good job.

Let the sinking begin again....:LightsOut:

[boltcorpse]

Good job.

Let the sinking begin again....:LightsOut:

Dear Ringo,

Shall we let the sinking begin again? :LightsOut:

[FCBolt]

Dear Ringo,

Shall we let the sinking begin again? :LightsOut:

Yes.
Excellent job, btw.

[boltcorpse]

Dear Ringo,

It's about time... to let the sinking begin again :LightsOut:

-bc-

[FCBolt]

Dear Ringo,

It's about time... to let the sinking begin again :LightsOut:

-bc-

Yes.
Well done.

[Stallion1994]

Chers Ringo,

Êtes-vous et Corpsie connexes par n'importe quel moyen?

Cordialement,
Shaggy (ou Huggy Bear, ou Stanly ou Pooh Bear, ou BooBoo ou Yogi Bear, etc)

[Stallion1994]

Chers Ringo,

Pourquoi est-baseball un passe-temps?

Cordialement,
Shaggy (ou Huggy Bear, ou Stanly ou Pooh Bear, ou BooBoo ou Yogi Bear, etc)

[boltcorpse]

Chers Ringo,

Pourquoi est-baseball un passe-temps?

Cordialement,
Shaggy (ou Huggy Bear, ou Stanly ou Pooh Bear, ou BooBoo ou Yogi Bear, etc)

Dear Ringo...

Is this little sheetsaucer taking a French class in HS?

Sincerely,
Don't really fargin' care so don't bother to answer... just wanted to bump your thread and watch the sinking begin again :LightsOut:

[FCBolt]

Chers Ringo,

Êtes-vous et Corpsie connexes par n'importe quel moyen?

Cordialement,
Shaggy (ou Huggy Bear, ou Stanly ou Pooh Bear, ou BooBoo ou Yogi Bear, etc)

Tu devrais apprendre francais avant que tu post merde.

[FCBolt]

Dear Ringo...

Is this little sheetsaucer taking a French class in HS?

Sincerely,
Don't really fargin' care so don't bother to answer... just wanted to bump your thread and watch the sinking begin again :LightsOut:

He's discovered babel fish it looks like.

[guerro619]

Dear Ringooo.... Where have you been??? And you haven't posted on the JNCP for a bit. How come???

[FCBolt]

Dear Ringooo.... Where have you been??? And you haven't posted on the JNCP for a bit. How come???


muy muy busy

[Stallion1994]

muy muy busy

Should we go in there and make it active? Because today has been SUPER SLOW....

[FCBolt]

Should we go in there and make it active? Because today has been SUPER SLOW....

I'm off to sing nursery rhymes to 5 year old, then watch TV with wifey.
Yes, I'm a boring farg.
And you're flying solo amigo.

[Stallion1994]

I'm off to sing nursery rhymes to 5 year old, then watch TV with wifey.
Yes, I'm a boring farg.
And you're flying solo amigo.

Go on then, ya wanka!

[FutbolAmericano]

I'm off to sing nursery rhymes to 5 year old, then watch TV with wifey.
Yes, I'm a boring farg.
And you're flying solo amigo.

It's not the single life, but it is no where near boring.

I know.

[FCBolt]

It's not the single life, but it is no where near boring.

I know.

Good pt.
There's never nothing to do, that's for sure...

[boltcorpse]

Dear Ringo,

What's your prediction for the Bolts/Gnats game tomorrow?

Sincerely,
Waiting for your word before I call my bookie...

[FCBolt]

Dear Ringo,

What's your prediction for the Bolts/Gnats game tomorrow?

Sincerely,
Waiting for your word before I call my bookie...

Bolts cover the spread but lose the game.

[Stallion1994]

Bolts cover the spread but lose the game.

I don't believe in mojo, or reverse mojo, or any derivation thereof (except in baseball [which is a pastime]), but Corpsie might think otherwise...

[FCBolt]

I don't believe in mojo, or reverse mojo, or any derivation thereof (except in baseball [which is a pastime]), but Corpsie might think otherwise...


I'm with ya.

I actually think that the Bolts will cover the spread (4.5 currently) but lose.

[boltcorpse]

Bolts cover the spread but lose the game.

Gotcha... I'll bet the Bolts to cover, sir...

I'm bettin' the house! As you know, so far this season I'm up one house, so I'm playin' with "house money," as it were ;)

Question: are you a bettin' man, sir?

[FCBolt]

Gotcha... I'll bet the Bolts to cover, sir...

I'm bettin' the house! As you know, so far this season I'm up one house, so I'm playin' with "house money," as it were ;)

Question: are you a bettin' man, sir?

Only when it feeds the mojo (which doesn't exist).

You're up two houses now. ;)

[boltcorpse]

Only when it feeds the mojo (which doesn't exist).

You're up two houses now. ;)

I'm goin' double or nothing next weekend, sir!

[FCBolt]

I'm goin' double or nothing next weekend, sir!


Early line has Chargers by 2.5.
I'd go Eagles.

But wait until it goes to 3.5 after Vegas adjusts to the egg Andy Reid laid tonight.

[boltcorpse]

Early line has Chargers by 2.5.
I'd go Eagles.

But wait until it goes to 3.5 after Vegas adjusts to the egg Andy Reid laid tonight.

Sir... are you suggesting that the Bolts will win but won't cover the spread? Or, do you think the Bolts are going to lay an egg?

With the mojo rolling the way it is, I find it difficult to bet against the Bolts at this time, sir... can you elaborate on your thinking, sir?

[FCBolt]

Sir... are you suggesting that the Bolts will win but won't cover the spread? Or, do you think the Bolts are going to lay an egg?

With the mojo rolling the way it is, I find it difficult to bet against the Bolts at this time, sir... can you elaborate on your thinking, sir?

I'm suggesting the Bolts will lose.
But that won't matter to you--if you want to believe that they win but don't cover the spread, and you believe that way of thinking will feed the (non-existent) mojo, then go for it--it's the same bet either way.

Note that the line has not moved--it's still at 2.5. But I'd still bet the Eagles. You're 2 houses up sir. The Eagles are hungry, the Bolts overconfident. Bet the house.

[boltcorpse]

I'm suggesting the Bolts will lose.
But that won't matter to you--if you want to believe that they win but don't cover the spread, and you believe that way of thinking will feed the (non-existent) mojo, then go for it--it's the same bet either way.

Note that the line has not moved--it's still at 2.5. But I'd still bet the Eagles. You're 2 houses up sir. The Eagles are hungry, the Bolts overconfident. Bet the house.

Acknowledged, sir...

As you point out, I'm two houses up... and I'm not feeling as confident as you that the Bolts won't cover... but you are the fargin Messiah, or one of 'em, so I'll do as you say, sir...

That being said, I'm only bettin' one house this time...

[FCBolt]

Acknowledged, sir...

As you point out, I'm two houses up... and I'm not feeling as confident as you that the Bolts won't cover... but you are the fargin Messiah, or one of 'em, so I'll do as you say, sir...

That being said, I'm only bettin' one house this time...

It's a tough call.
I'd advise just betting a couch or two, but that could farg the mojo (if it existed).

[boltcorpse]

Dear Ringo...

Will you miss me while I'm in Cabo, sir?

Sincerely,
Your CMB wingman

[FCBolt]

Dear Ringo...

Will you miss me while I'm in Cabo, sir?

Sincerely,
Your CMB wingman

Just keep sending those post cards.
;)

[boltcorpse]

Dear Ringo,

When I return from Cabo, may I refer to you from now on as "Captain," sir?

Note... this does not mean you may refer to me as Tennille or Mr. Spock.

Sincerely,
Respecting your authoritah...

[dekkerbasser]

Ringo,

How was your flight?

Signed,
Hungry in OC

[FCBolt]

Dear Ringo,

When I return from Cabo, may I refer to you from now on as "Captain," sir?

Note... this does not mean you may refer to me as Tennille or Mr. Spock.

Sincerely,
Respecting your authoritah...

The Tennille was hot.
You can call me whatever you want.

[FCBolt]

Ringo,

How was your flight?

Signed,
Hungry in OC

I didn't go anywhere.
If I HAD gotten on a flight, I'm sure it would have been excellent.
Mod Air is known for its kool-aid.

[dekkerbasser]

I didn't go anywhere.
If I HAD gotten on a flight, I'm sure it would have been excellent.
Mod Air is known for its kool-aid.

The same flavor they sell at Jonestown?

[FCBolt]

The same flavor they sell at Jonestown?

Depends upon the flight attendant.
If you're wearing your Celtics jersey and Tomlinson21 is working that day, don't drink the kool-aid.

[dekkerbasser]

Dear Ringo,

Is it true that if you bathe in windex, you become invisible?

Signed,
Mad scientist

[FCBolt]

Dear Ringo,

Is it true that if you bathe in windex, you become invisible?

Signed,
Mad scientist

No, but birds will start flying into you.

[dekkerbasser]

Dear Ringo,

Why do they put Pringles in a can instead of a bag?

Signed,
Hand Got Stuck

[FCBolt]

Dear Ringo,

Why do they put Pringles in a can instead of a bag?

Signed,
Hand Got Stuck

Cause when your potato chips are sub-par, you have to create a unique package to keep them relevant.

[Charanna]

Oh....I see, we're also giving the love to (not this time around.. trip to Cabo) good boy FC. Hmmmmm, let's see?

How fast can you skate? Ever clock it?

[FCBolt]

Oh....I see, we're also giving the love to (not this time around.. trip to Cabo) good boy FC. Hmmmmm, let's see?

How fast can you skate? Ever clock it?

I'm a slow, stay at home defensman.
And I'm talking hockey not defending my daughters against the hordes (but only cause I don't have any daughters).

[Charanna]

I'm a slow, stay at home defensman.
And I'm talking hockey not defending my daughters against the hordes (but only cause I don't have any daughters).


Not too forward I hope- any plans in the future for a daughter or three?

:p

[FCBolt]

Not too forward I hope- any plans in the future for a daughter or three?

:p

Negative.
2 sons is crazy enough.
I'm not taking a chance on 3.

[Charanna]

Negative.
2 sons is crazy enough.
I'm not taking a chance on 3.


IMO, they're (girls) hella more difficult to raise. :crazy:

I also have three sons, which was more than enough for a fair and accurate comparison.

Have fun with them...they grow way too fast. ;)

[chargertom]

Before we knew we were having a son ... I came up with a list of rules for any kid who wanted to date my daughter:

Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them with my Kabar and feed them to the Rottweilers.

Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don’t take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four:
I’m sure you’ve been told that in today’s world, sex without utilizing a “barrier method” of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate: when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five:
In order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is “early”

Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don’t you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter:
- Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool.

- Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight.

- Places where there is darkness.

- Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness.

- Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat.

- Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay.

- Hockey games are okay.

- Old folks homes are better.

Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you God. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy outside of Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car-there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face behind the sniper rifle in the window is mine.

[FCBolt]

Before we knew we were having a son ... I came up with a list of rules for any kid who wanted to date my daughter:

Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them with my Kabar and feed them to the Rottweilers.

Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don’t take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four:
I’m sure you’ve been told that in today’s world, sex without utilizing a “barrier method” of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate: when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five:
In order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is “early”

Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don’t you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter:
- Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool.

- Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight.

- Places where there is darkness.

- Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness.

- Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat.

- Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay.

- Hockey games are okay.

- Old folks homes are better.

Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you God. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy outside of Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car-there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face behind the sniper rifle in the window is mine.

Red
http://images2.fanpop.com/images/quiz/41852_1217517728364_345_450.jpg

Is that you?
:D

I love Red. One of my favorite television characters.

[boltcorpse]

The Tennille was hot.
You can call me whatever you want.

Dear Ringo,

May I call you "Skipper" and you can call me "Little Buddy?"

[X FACTOR]

That is some funny sheet....I've got 2 boys but completly understand.

[JPPT1974]

Hey Ringo, Do you do anything besides football? Like what are your hobbies?

[X FACTOR]

Hey Ringo, Do you do anything besides football? Like what are your hobbies?
Pandora's Box has been opened.........:eek:

[FCBolt]

Hey Ringo, Do you do anything besides football? Like what are your hobbies?

Kids.
Work.
Football.

I used to climb and ski a lot. But then kids came along...

[FCBolt]

Pandora's Box has been opened.........:eek:

Nothing in there.
Now 20 years ago....

[X FACTOR]

Nothing in there.
Now 20 years ago....
I hear ya, my list is just like yours.
2 boys 18 and 14 ...nuff said.

[FCBolt]

Hey Ringo, Do you do anything besides football? Like what are your hobbies?

almost forgot, duck hunting and very occasional fishing. Also play hockey 1-2 times per week.

That's living large in Ringoville.
Haven't banged on the drums in ages....

[FCBolt]

Dear Ringo,

May I call you "Skipper" and you can call me "Little Buddy?"

1. You can call me what you want (I thought I already said that?)
2. I'm sticking with Corpse, Corpsie, bc, etc. There are some others, but the dikshunary has been banned and burned, I hear...

[boltcorpse]

1. You can call me what you want (I thought I already said that?)
2. I'm sticking with Corpse, Corpsie, bc, etc. There are some others, but the dikshunary has been banned and burned, I hear...

Acknowledged, sir.

I'll stick to calling you the Messiah... or the best false Messiah who ever was, or any derivation thereof...

[boltcorpse]

Sir... you almost dropped to the 2nd page of OT http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-scared002.gif

Let the sinking begin again! :LightsOut:

[23skidoo]

Before we knew we were having a son ... I came up with a list of rules for any kid who wanted to date my daughter:

Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them with my Kabar and feed them to the Rottweilers.

Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don’t take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four:
I’m sure you’ve been told that in today’s world, sex without utilizing a “barrier method” of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate: when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five:
In order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is “early”

Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don’t you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter:
- Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool.

- Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight.

- Places where there is darkness.

- Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness.

- Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat.

- Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay.

- Hockey games are okay.

- Old folks homes are better.

Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you God. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy outside of Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car-there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face behind the sniper rifle in the window is mine.

How the heck did I miss this? AWESOME, "I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe."

3 daughters here, so this will be useful.

[boltcorpse]

Dear Ringo,

Did you know your "Ask.." thread had dropped to page 2 again, sir?

Let the sinking begin again :LightsOut:

[boltcorpse]

Dear Ringo,

How the farg did 23skidoo predict the precise score of the Bolts/Philly game???

http://forums.chargers.com/showpost.php?p=2730396&postcount=32

Sincerely,
Amazed...

[boltcorpse]

Dear Ringo...

My "Ask..." Thread went to page 2 of Off-Topic...

Is this a sign of things to come? Am I a has-been, sir?

Sincerely,
Attention *****

[Stallion1994]

Before we knew we were having a son ... I came up with a list of rules for any kid who wanted to date my daughter:

Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them with my Kabar and feed them to the Rottweilers.

Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don’t take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four:
I’m sure you’ve been told that in today’s world, sex without utilizing a “barrier method” of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate: when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five:
In order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is “early”

Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don’t you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter:
- Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool.

- Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight.

- Places where there is darkness.

- Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness.

- Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat.

- Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay.

- Hockey games are okay.

- Old folks homes are better.

Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you God. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy outside of Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car-there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face behind the sniper rifle in the window is mine.

That part is my favorite. Hahahaha!

[FCBolt]

Dear Ringo,

How the farg did 23skidoo predict the precise score of the Bolts/Philly game???

http://forums.chargers.com/showpost.php?p=2730396&postcount=32

Sincerely,
Amazed...

hmmm....he could be the Messiah.

[FCBolt]

Dear Ringo...

My "Ask..." Thread went to page 2 of Off-Topic...

Is this a sign of things to come? Am I a has-been, sir?

Sincerely,
Attention *****

Maybe you're a never was.

[boltcorpse]

Maybe you're a never was.

LOL!!

:LightsOut:

[guerro619]

Dear Ringooo.... Since Corpsie is your agent and Prez of the RFC, wouldn't it be good for you to join your leader in the sandy beaches of Cabo.

Signed;
The booking agent.

[FCBolt]

Dear Ringooo.... Since Corpsie is your agent and Prez of the RFC, wouldn't it be good for you to join your leader in the sandy beaches of Cabo.

Signed;
The booking agent.

If there was such a thing as mojo, I would consider it.

But, there's no such thing as mojo (or any derivation thereof).
Except in baseball.
Which is a pastime.
Not a sport.

[FutbolAmericano]

If there was such a thing as mojo, I would consider it.

But, there's no such thing as mojo (or any derivation thereof).
Except in baseball.
Which is a pastime.
Not a sport.

FCBolt, please join us. That would be the ultimate CMB sacrifice.

[Charanna]

FCBolt, please join us. That would be the ultimate CMB sacrifice.


Footy..did you see my response and question for you in "Poway?"

[FCBolt]

FCBolt, please join us. That would be the ultimate CMB sacrifice.

I'm trying to wrap my head around this FA...
One could view sacrificing oneself for nothing as the ultimate sacrifice, or one could view it as beyond nihilistically inane. Or both.

When my brain short-circuits like this, I just default to 'No.'
:)

[FCBolt]

Footy..did you see my response and question for you in "Poway?"

Are you saying that it's time for an Ask FA thread?
I AM in a thread starting mood tonight....;)

[Charanna]

Are you saying that it's time for an Ask FA thread?
I AM in a thread starting mood tonight....;)


Hahahha....sure why not!!! "WLO" apparently bombed and now, is again residing in the bowels of the CMB. :rolleyes:


But...you boys just dont mind little ol' VEE. ;)

[FCBolt]

Hahahha....sure why not!!! "WLO" apparently bombed and now, is again residing in the bowels of the CMB. :rolleyes:


But...you boys just dont mind little ol' VEE. ;)

You want your own 'Ask' thread??

Done. :)

[Charanna]

You want your own 'Ask' thread??

Done. :)


Noooooo....I just crave some TLC. And to feel I matter. :(


What's a girl to do? ;)

[FCBolt]

Noooooo....I just crave some TLC. And to feel I matter. :(


What's a girl to do? ;)


Go to the "Ask Vee" thread and start answering.

:LightsOut:

[boltcorpse]

Dear Ringo,

How many houses do I have now? I've lost count :LightsOut:

Sincerely,
House flipper...

[boltcorpse]

Dear Ringo,

I'm up so many houses now I have lost count... I think I'm up 5 houses... with you making the calls I can't lose, sir!

The line on the Chefs game is Bolts -13.5.

Your thoughts?

Sincerely,
Mr. Parlay

[FCBolt]

Dear Ringo,

I'm up so many houses now I have lost count... I think I'm up 5 houses... with you making the calls I can't lose, sir!

The line on the Chefs game is Bolts -13.5.

Your thoughts?

Sincerely,
Mr. Parlay

I'd stay away from that one.
Don't know which Chiefs team will show up.
For that matter, we don't know which Bolts team will show up.

[boltcorpse]

I'd stay away from that one.
Don't know which Chiefs team will show up.
For that matter, we don't know which Bolts team will show up.

A conservative call, sir... but I like it.

I mean, I'm up 5 houses... why rock the boat? ;)

Question: doing anything special for Thanksgiving, sir?

Sincerely,
Jive Turkey

[FCBolt]

A conservative call, sir... but I like it.

I mean, I'm up 5 houses... why rock the boat? ;)

Question: doing anything special for Thanksgiving, sir?

Sincerely,
Jive Turkey

It'll be an in-law Thanksgiving this year (aka falling asleep watching the Cowboys).
Actually, they're playing the Raiders.
I'd say take the Raiders with all the pts Vegas will give but
1. It's in Dallas
2. Betting on the Raiders could really screw the mojo. Then again, betting against the Boys is good for the mojo. Then again, there's no such thing as mojo (or reverse mojo, or any derivation thereof).
:LightsOut:




:layup





What are you and the Mrs doing on Turkey Day?
Cabo-bound?

[boltcorpse]

It'll be an in-law Thanksgiving this year (aka falling asleep watching the Cowboys).
Actually, they're playing the Raiders.
I'd say take the Raiders with all the pts Vegas will give but
1. It's in Dallas
2. Betting on the Raiders could really screw the mojo. Then again, betting against the Boys is good for the mojo. Then again, there's no such thing as mojo (or reverse mojo, or any derivation thereof).
:LightsOut:




:layup





What are you and the Mrs doing on Turkey Day?
Cabo-bound?

Sorry, sir... I can't bet the Faiders... ain't gonna happen.

After I return from Cabo, me 'n' Mrs. Corpsie are hosting a Thanksgiving dinner @ our place for family... about 15 attendees... fortunately, Mrs. Corpsie can cook up a storm... I'm pretty good at doing the dishes :LightsOut:

[FCBolt]

Sorry, sir... I can't bet the Faiders... ain't gonna happen.

After I return from Cabo, me 'n' Mrs. Corpsie are hosting a Thanksgiving dinner @ our place for family... about 15 attendees... fortunately, Mrs. Corpsie can cook up a storm... I'm pretty good at doing the dishes :LightsOut:

What time?
Tell her to have the margaritas ready for us in-law refugees.

[boltcorpse]

What time?
Tell her to have the margaritas ready for us in-law refugees.

5:10pm, of course ;)

[FCBolt]

5:10pm, of course ;)

Excellent...I'll drop the kids and wives off at the in-laws and proceed directly to the airport.

Actually, why should I subject the kids to the in-laws?

Mind a couple of FC jr's?

[boltcorpse]

Excellent...I'll drop the kids and wives off at the in-laws and proceed directly to the airport.

Actually, why should I subject the kids to the in-laws?

Mind a couple of FC jr's?

Sir... of course the future generation of false messiahs are welcome :LightsOut:

[FCBolt]

Sir... of course the future generation of false messiahs are welcome :LightsOut:

Excellent! Thanks much!
I'll make sure they've reviewed all their Gnostic sheet so they don't fail to disappoint.

[boltcorpse]

Dear Ringo,

How was your Thanksgiving, sir?

[FCBolt]

Dear Ringo,

How was your Thanksgiving, sir?

Awesome.
The family went out for a hike, leaving me to baste the turkey, drink scotch, and watch football.

I couldn't pack down 3 servings though. I was done at 2. I didn't follow any of Ducky's advice....

[boltcorpse]

Awesome.
The family went out for a hike, leaving me to baste the turkey, drink scotch, and watch football.

I couldn't pack down 3 servings though. I was done at 2. I didn't follow any of Ducky's advice....

Depending on how heavy you load your plate... 2 servings could be plenty, sir.

Question: why did the Donkoz have to win yesterday, sir? Did you have anything to do with this, sir? Perhaps the premier reverse mojo practitioner on the CMB should not have boarded the Mojo Express :LightsOut:

[FCBolt]

Depending on how heavy you load your plate... 2 servings could be plenty, sir.

Question: why did the Donkoz have to win yesterday, sir? Did you have anything to do with this, sir? Perhaps the premier reverse mojo practitioner on the CMB should not have boarded the Mojo Express :LightsOut:

McBean's 2nd game back on the DL.
Also, Eli sucks.

Nothing to do with mojo.

[boltcorpse]

Nothing to do with mojo.

Of course...

Because there's no such thing as mojo, reverse mojo, or any derivation thereof... except in baseball, which is a pastime. :LightsOut:

[FCBolt]

Of course...

Because there's no such thing as mojo, reverse mojo, or any derivation thereof... except in baseball, which is a pastime. :LightsOut:

That too ;)
And Red Grange never needed any of this mojo sheet....

[boltcorpse]

Dear Ringo,

Point spread on the game this weekend is Bolts -12.5

I'm thinkin' bet two houses on the Bolts to cover...

Your thoughts?

Sincerely,
Mr. Parlay

[FCBolt]

One house.
I don't like it. Trap game. But farg it, one house.

The Bolts are gonna be favorites in most of the rest of their games. That makes the betting a bit tougher.

[boltcorpse]

One house.
I don't like it. Trap game. But farg it, one house.

The Bolts are gonna be favorites in most of the rest of their games. That makes the betting a bit tougher.

"Trap game?" The Brownies, sir?

Um... okee dokee, sir... whatever you say... you're the 3rd best false messiah who ever was... so there ain't no way I'm doubtin' you, sir... nope, not gonna do it.

Bettin' one house it is, sir.

That being said...

Bolts: 51
Browns: 0

Question: do you think the Donks will lay an egg vs. the Chefs?

[FCBolt]

"Trap game?" The Brownies, sir?

Um... okee dokee, sir... whatever you say... you're the 3rd best false messiah who ever was... so there ain't no way I'm doubtin' you, sir... nope, not gonna do it.

Bettin' one house it is, sir.

That being said...

Bolts: 51
Browns: 0

Question: do you think the Donks will lay an egg vs. the Chefs?

Well, I don't *think* so. That said, it wouldn't surprise me if it happened.
I give the Donks a 51% chance to win.

And yes--trap game. One house.
Hey, bet all 5 if you want. But don't come crying to this thread. ;)

[boltcorpse]

Dallas -3.

How many houses?

[SBBound]

Who's ringo???

[boltcorpse]

Who's ringo???

Sir... where have you been?

Ringo is the 3rd best false messiah who ever was.

[SBBound]

Sir... where have you been?

Ringo is the 3rd best false messiah who ever was.

You and i should hook up, i'll pay for everything sir.

[boltcorpse]

You and i should hook up, i'll pay for everything sir.

Define "hook up" :eek:

What exactly will you pay for?

I ain't cheap, ya bastage ;)

[boltcorpse]

Dear Ringo,

The line for the Cinci game is Bolts -6.5.

Your thoughts, sir?

Sincerely,
Mr. Parlay

[Chargerfreak]

Dear Ringo,

The line for the Cinci game is Bolts -6.5.

Your thoughts, sir?

Sincerely,
Mr. Parlay
Leave it alone. I would have looked at it, except that Henry died. Playing for the number 2 seed, and playing for Henry, makes it a bad bet on Bolts.

Bolts at home, 8 game win streak, and playing for the number 2 seed makes it a bad bet on Cincy.

There are too many other games that are more inviting.

Signed,
RingoFreak

[FCBolt]

Dear Ringo,

The line for the Cinci game is Bolts -6.5.

Your thoughts, sir?

Sincerely,
Mr. Parlay

Bolts.
Bengals won't show up.

[chargertom]

Dear 3rd bestest false messiah ever,

Will Santa ride a pink pony to the Super Bowl?

Signed,
Rudolph

[FCBolt]

Dear 3rd bestest false messiah ever,

Will Santa ride a pink pony to the Super Bowl?

Signed,
Rudolph

current Super Bowl odds (http://www.nsawins.com/super-bowl-odds.shtml)

Choir boys +250 (ie, 2.5:1)
Baby horses +285
Bolts +500
Tiger's harem +500
Cheaters +950
Chickadees east +1200
Mideast kitties +1250
Chickadees west +1500
Cheeseheads +1850
Chickadees midatlantic +2500
Girls +2500
Donkeys +2500
Gnats +4000 (ie 40:1)

Vegas apparently hasn't taken in the CT pink pony factor.
Hmmm...could that be because they know that:
(say it with me)

There's

no

such

thing

as

mojo!!!

Nevertheless you should bet the Christmas tree patch on the Bolts, Rudolph. After all, even if you lose, your job is still guaranteed!
(Cause you exist (unlike mojo(or have I already mentioned that?)))

[chargertom]

Thank you, bestest false messiah #3. I was almost inclined to bump you into the #2 spot. Almost.

[boltcorpse]

Dear Ringo,

I'm up 6 fargin houses, sir!

I'm not wagering next week vs. Washington...

But I intend to go double or nothing each game throughout the postseason... if all plays out as planned I will have 48 houses when the Bolts get a Lombardi on Feb. 7th :LightsOut:

You will get your 15% as promised, sir.

:Cheers:

[FCBolt]

Thank you, bestest false messiah #3. I was almost inclined to bump you into the #2 spot. Almost.

Impulse decisions are usually bad ones ;)

[FCBolt]

Dear Ringo,

I'm up 6 fargin houses, sir!

I'm not wagering next week vs. Washington...

But I intend to go double or nothing each game throughout the postseason... if all plays out as planned I will have 48 houses when the Bolts get a Lombardi on Feb. 7th :LightsOut:

You will get your 15% as promised, sir.

:Cheers:

Our second team could beat the deadzorns.
What's the line?
Lemmee check.....
.....
.....


SD -7
Bet a house.

[gameshowfan91]

Are any of you in San Diego/UC San Diego?

[FCBolt]

Are any of you in San Diego/UC San Diego?


Ask Dek ;)

[dekkerbasser]

Ask Dek ;)

LOL! I dont think they know what that means.... ;):Beer:

[gameshowfan91]

LOL! I dont think they know what that means.... ;):Beer:Are you in San Diego/UC San Diego?

[FCBolt]

Are you in San Diego/UC San Diego?

Here's some other places to Ask ;)

You could
Ask Boltcorpse (http://forums.chargers.com/showthread.php?p=2822408#post2822408)
Ask X (http://forums.chargers.com/showthread.php?p=2822382#post2822382)
Ask the Mods (http://forums.chargers.com/showthread.php?p=2830349#post2830349)
Ask The Freak (http://forums.chargers.com/showthread.php?p=2810627#post2810627)
Ask Dek (http://forums.chargers.com/showthread.php?p=2800478#post2800478) (but beware, that thread has been stuck on 666 posts for 2 weeks. coincidence? Ask the Mods ;) )
Ask Vee (http://forums.chargers.com/showthread.php?p=2758449#post2758449)
Ask Ducky (http://forums.chargers.com/showthread.php?p=2754412#post2754412)
Ask Gooroo (http://forums.chargers.com/showthread.php?p=2742015#post2742015)
Ask JTC (http://forums.chargers.com/showthread.php?p=2741970#post2741970)
Ask Google (http://forums.chargers.com/showthread.php?p=2741967#post2741967)
Ask Kramxel (http://forums.chargers.com/showthread.php?p=2699567#post2699567)
and finally, the place where you'd get the most feedback, you could
Ask Woym (http://forums.chargers.com/showthread.php?p=2830382#post2830382)

[bolt635]

Mr Ringo,

I have a two part question for you.....

If a forum member was on the last trip to Cabo, but was on the forum under a friends username....

1. Just what happens to the Cabo Mojo???

2 Would you consider this a person of integrity??? :D

[FCBolt]

Mr Ringo,

I have a two part question for you.....

If a forum member was on the last trip to Cabo, but was on the forum under a friends username....

1. Just what happens to the Cabo Mojo???

2 Would you consider this a person of integrity??? :D

1. No such thing as mojo (thanks for the softball).
2. If that person was shangheid to Cabo, then no problem. If that person willingly went to Cabo, then he/she/it's a sheetsaucer!

[jackfrost]

Mr Ringo,

I have a two part question for you.....

If a forum member was on the last trip to Cabo, but was on the forum under a friends username....

1. Just what happens to the Cabo Mojo???

2 Would you consider this a person of integrity??? :D



Am I gonna have to chase your waddling little butt around this entire Forum, mopping up the wet spots or what ????

Hold on, let me get another Mop, this ones worn out already from soaking up all the tears your shedding............ http://forums.chargers.com/images/icons/icon10.gif

[boltcorpse]

Dear Ringo,

The line ranges from Cinci-2 to Cinci-3 vs. Jets depending on the sports book...

Pats-3 vs. Baltimore.

Your thoughts?

Sincerely,
Mr. Parlay

[boltcorpse]

Dear Ringo,

The line ranges from Cinci-2 to Cinci-3 vs. Jets depending on the sports book...

Pats-3 vs. Baltimore.

Your thoughts?

Sincerely,
Mr. Parlay

Dear Ringo,

What does a guy need to do to get you to answer fargin questions in your Ask Ringo thread nowadays?

Sincerely,
OP of the Ask Ringo Thread and President of TRAC (The Ringo Appreciation Club)

[chargertom]

Please don't push the third bestest false messiah ever. It's akin to poking the grizzly with a stick.

[boltcorpse]

Please don't push the third bestest false messiah ever. It's akin to poking the grizzly with a stick.

Duly noted, sir :LightsOut:

[FCBolt]

Dear Ringo,

What does a guy need to do to get you to answer fargin questions in your Ask Ringo thread nowadays?

Sincerely,
OP of the Ask Ringo Thread and President of TRAC (The Ringo Appreciation Club)


I don't bet on non-Bolt games. That's a quick way to lose money (houses, cousins, etc).

[FCBolt]

Please don't push the third bestest false messiah ever. It's akin to poking the grizzly with a stick.

I'm still third?

Recruiting has gone south...

[chargertom]

I'm shocked, too. I thought for sure you'd be the 7th or 8th bestest false messiah of all time.