ELECTROSHOCK
10-22-2009, 03:51 PM
Just in Time for Thanksgiving! - Here is My Grandmas Recipe for "Ruining a Championship Caliper Football Team"
http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:kby2OI3pnjU1WM:http://i241.photobucket.com/albums/ff143/EditorGuante/turkey1norv.jpg
Serves: 10-20 Million Hopeful Fans
Ingredients:
1 - Cocky, Over-Confident General Manager
1 - Spineless, Wishy-Washy Coach with a losing Record
1 - A weak-minded City Council that couldn't care less about football
52 - Football Players Ranging from H.O.F./Pro-Bowl Status to Crap.
1 - Hall of Fame bound Running Back
2 - Tablespoons of Salt
Instructions:
1.) Season and Prepare Cocky General Manager for a few years by letting him blow off excellent free-agent opportunities and make poor draft choices.
2.) Prepare Spineless coach by letting him know that he is now in control of the most talented group of football players in the NFL.
3.) Prepare Hall of Fame bound Running Back by helping him become a community leader and overall sports Icon, and then quickly rip him away from his responsibilities so his confidence is chopped into 1/4 inch sized pieces.
4.) Mix Spineless coach with 52 players and Hall of Fame bound Running Back. Be sure that the Spineless coach is allowed to rub off on all 52 players and Running back ensuring that each one's confidence is completely destroyed (Note: Recipe will not work unless all players' confidence is ruined)
5.) Prepare City Council that couldn’t' care less about football by finding as many weak minded arrogant morons as you can and mixing them together.
6.) In a large bowl, Add Seasoned Cocky Over-Confident General Manager, Spineless Coach, 1/4 inch chunks of the Hall of Fame bound Running Back, City Council members, and all 52 mentally destroyed athletes.
6.) Add Salt.
7.) Refrigerate Overnight.
7.) Carefully remove "Ruined Championship Caliper Football Team" from refrigerator.
8.) Before cooling off, check for Veterans and Strong Locker-Room Mentors. REMOVE IMMEDIATELY. (Note: All leaders and mentors must be removed or dish will spoil)
9.) Place in a greased 600 year old stadium, bake for 5 years at 450 degrees.
10.) While cooking, open oven each year to be sure that no Strong Locker-Room Mentors have slipped in. If you find, one, REMOVE IMMEDIATELY.
Cooking Hints:
a. Take all Veterans and Strong Locker-Room Mentors and send them to the New England Patriots or any other division or rival team.
b. Before seasoning Cocky Over-Confident General Manager, allow him to make false promises to Hall of Fame bound Running Back. It will help with the flavor.
11.) Serve cold on Sundays and Monday Nights. The more National Media Exposure, the Better.
ENJOY!!!!!!!!
http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:kby2OI3pnjU1WM:http://i241.photobucket.com/albums/ff143/EditorGuante/turkey1norv.jpg
Serves: 10-20 Million Hopeful Fans
Ingredients:
1 - Cocky, Over-Confident General Manager
1 - Spineless, Wishy-Washy Coach with a losing Record
1 - A weak-minded City Council that couldn't care less about football
52 - Football Players Ranging from H.O.F./Pro-Bowl Status to Crap.
1 - Hall of Fame bound Running Back
2 - Tablespoons of Salt
Instructions:
1.) Season and Prepare Cocky General Manager for a few years by letting him blow off excellent free-agent opportunities and make poor draft choices.
2.) Prepare Spineless coach by letting him know that he is now in control of the most talented group of football players in the NFL.
3.) Prepare Hall of Fame bound Running Back by helping him become a community leader and overall sports Icon, and then quickly rip him away from his responsibilities so his confidence is chopped into 1/4 inch sized pieces.
4.) Mix Spineless coach with 52 players and Hall of Fame bound Running Back. Be sure that the Spineless coach is allowed to rub off on all 52 players and Running back ensuring that each one's confidence is completely destroyed (Note: Recipe will not work unless all players' confidence is ruined)
5.) Prepare City Council that couldn’t' care less about football by finding as many weak minded arrogant morons as you can and mixing them together.
6.) In a large bowl, Add Seasoned Cocky Over-Confident General Manager, Spineless Coach, 1/4 inch chunks of the Hall of Fame bound Running Back, City Council members, and all 52 mentally destroyed athletes.
6.) Add Salt.
7.) Refrigerate Overnight.
7.) Carefully remove "Ruined Championship Caliper Football Team" from refrigerator.
8.) Before cooling off, check for Veterans and Strong Locker-Room Mentors. REMOVE IMMEDIATELY. (Note: All leaders and mentors must be removed or dish will spoil)
9.) Place in a greased 600 year old stadium, bake for 5 years at 450 degrees.
10.) While cooking, open oven each year to be sure that no Strong Locker-Room Mentors have slipped in. If you find, one, REMOVE IMMEDIATELY.
Cooking Hints:
a. Take all Veterans and Strong Locker-Room Mentors and send them to the New England Patriots or any other division or rival team.
b. Before seasoning Cocky Over-Confident General Manager, allow him to make false promises to Hall of Fame bound Running Back. It will help with the flavor.
11.) Serve cold on Sundays and Monday Nights. The more National Media Exposure, the Better.
ENJOY!!!!!!!!