Darwin Awards

[Boltdiehard]

Darwin award nominees
Posted September 29, 2004

Hard to believe, but another year has passed. Once again, it's time for the Darwin Award Nominees. The Darwin's are awarded every year to the persons who died in the most stupid manner, thereby removing themselves from the gene pool. This year's nine nominees are:

Nominee No. 1: [San Jose Mercury News]:
An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to
break a former girlfriend's windshield, accidentally
shot himself to death when the gun discharged,
blowing a hole in his gut.

Nominee No. 2: [Kalamazoo Gazette]:
James Burns, 34, (a mechanic) of Alamo, MI, was
killed in March as he was trying to repair what
police describe as a "farm-type truck." Burns got a
friend to drive the truck on a highway while Burns
hung underneath so that he could ascertain the
source of a troubling noise. Burns' clothes caught
on something, however, and the other man found Burns
"wrapped in the drive shaft."

Nominee No. 3: [Hickory Daily Record]:
Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to
death in December in Newton, NC. Awakening to the
sound of a ringing telephone beside his bed, he
reached for the phone but grabbed instead a Smith &
Wesson 38 Special, which discharged when he drew it
to his ear. (For whatever reason, residents of
Southern states always seem to figure prominently
among the Darwin nominees.)

Nominee No. 4: [UPI, Toronto]:
Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of
windows in a downtown Toronto skyscraper crashed
through a pane with his shoulder and plunged 24
floors to his death. A police spokesman said Garry
Hoy, 39, fell into the courtyard of the Toronto
Dominion Bank Tower early Friday evening as he was
explaining the strength of the building's windows to
visiting law students. Hoy previously has conducted
demonstrations of window strength according to
police reports. Peter Lawson, managing partner of
the firm Holden Day, told the Toronto Sun newspaper
that Hoy was "one of the best and brightest" members
of the 200-man association. (Nice to see another
Canadian province getting into the awards.... The
Maritimes always have been heavily involved.)

Nominee No. 5: [Bloomberg News Service]:
A terrible diet and a room with no ventilation are
being blamed for the death of a man who was killed
by his own gas emissions. There was no mark on his
body, and an autopsy showed large amounts of methane
gas in his system. His diet had consisted primarily
of beans and cabbage (and a couple of other things).
It was just the right combination of foods. It
appears that the man died in his sleep from
breathing the poisonous cloud that was hanging over
his bed. Had he been outside or had his windows been
opened, it wouldn't have been fatal. But the man was
shut up in his nearly airtight bedroom. According to
the article, "He was a big man with a huge capacity
for creating "this deadly gas." Three of the
rescuers got sick, and one was hospitalized.

Nominee No. 6: [The News of the Weird]:
Michael Anderson Godwin made News of the Weird
posthumously. He had spent several years awaiting
South Carolina's electric chair on a murder
conviction before having his sentence reduced to
life in prison. While sitting on a metal toilet in
his cell attempting to fix his small TV set, he bit
into a wire and was electrocuted. (South Carolina
entrants are always perennial favorites.)

Nominee No. 7: [The Indianapolis Star]:
A cigarette lighter may have triggered a fatal
explosion in Dunkirk, IN. A Jay County man, using
a cigarette lighter to check the barrel of a muzzle
loader, was killed Monday night when the weapon
discharged in his face, sheriff's investigators
said. Gregory David Pryor, 19, died in his parents'
rural Dunkirk home at about 11:30 PM. Investigators
said Pryor was cleaning a 54-caliber muzzleloader
that had not been firing p

[Thunderstruck]

#10: After trailing most of the game, the San Diego Chargers finally pulled to within a single touchdown of the Denver Broncos. After the ensuing kickoff, the Chargers' defense stepped up large and forced the Denver Broncos to punt. Momentum was firmly in the Chargers corner. All they had to do was take the punt to decent field position and have a solid drive to tie the game. But...NO!! There's a FLAG on the PLAY! ROUGHING THE KICKER ON #81!!!

Osgood gets my Darwin award for this week. [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img] Nobody on earth did anything more stupid than that.

[Johndbr]

I got one word for the winner of that, OUCH

John B

[SDRaiderH8er]

Man can you believe some of these guys.

[Triknique]

Incredible the "brilliance" some people display when they put their minds to it. That was too funny.

[luv2fli2]

Being born and raised in Little Rock, I remember when the story ran about the "Winners" in the paper.

It supposedly ran in 1996 and in 1997 the paper issued a statement because it was a hoax. When your from Arkansas and you've had really good froglegs, you WILL find those who will do just about anything to get them, even blow their balls off by accident or not. HA!

http://www.darwinawards.com/legends/legends1998-04.html

Sorry Boltdiehard.

[Chargeroo]

Still funny.

[Shamrock]

Originally posted by: Boltdiehard
.... Lavinia (Poole's wife) asked how many frogs the boys had caught and
did anyone get them from the truck???

What's more important?

Frog legs, or your husbands' jewels?

[Shamrock]

This guy will automatically qualify for the Darwin semi-finals because he took his DNA out of the gene pool .......

Romanian with a knife:

Man Mistakenly Cuts Off Penis, Dog Eats It
Mon Oct 4, 2004

BUCHAREST (Reuters) - A elderly Romanian man mistook his penis for a chicken's neck, cut it off and his dog rushed up and ate it, the state Rompres news agency said Monday.

It said 67 year-old Constantin Mocanu, from a village near the southeastern town of Galati, rushed out into his yard in his underwear to kill a noisy chicken keeping him awake at night.

"I confused it with the chicken's neck," Mocanu, who was admitted to the emergency hospital in Galati, was quoted as saying. "I cut it ... and the dog rushed and ate it."

Doctors said the man, who was brought in by an ambulance bleeding heavily, was now out of danger.

[Thunderstruck]

Originally posted by: Shamrock
This guy will automatically qualify for the Darwin semi-finals because he took his DNA out of the gene pool .......

Romanian with a knife:

Man Mistakenly Cuts Off Penis, Dog Eats It
Mon Oct 4, 2004

BUCHAREST (Reuters) - A elderly Romanian man mistook his penis for a chicken's neck, cut it off and his dog rushed up and ate it, the state Rompres news agency said Monday.

It said 67 year-old Constantin Mocanu, from a village near the southeastern town of Galati, rushed out into his yard in his underwear to kill a noisy chicken keeping him awake at night.

"I confused it with the chicken's neck," Mocanu, who was admitted to the emergency hospital in Galati, was quoted as saying. "I cut it ... and the dog rushed and ate it."

Doctors said the man, who was brought in by an ambulance bleeding heavily, was now out of danger.

Why do I get the feeling this guy was actually...ummm...getting friendly with the dog and he'd forgotten to feed the poor thing in days. I mean, please. "My dog ate my penis" is hard to explain.